In today's societies, our work's style will say many things about us. Some people might say that working with equipment to do their tasks is much beneficial because they might save time and increase the production. Nevertheless, others consider that to work with your hands is an art and not everyone can do it. Each one's point of view will rely on factors such as cultural and even familiar backgrounds. When it comes to me, I outright prefer don't use machines in order to do my job, for some reasons that I will develop in the next paragraphs.
To begin with, if one works with his or her hands for sure the quality of the work will be conspicuous. Companies have abandoned the traditional method of work by hand and instead have preferred to adopt machines that substitute people, even though the production has increased, the product's quality has decreased. Due to the fact that machines cannot compared with a human being's hands. For instance, to illustrate that let's refer to professional painters; they take days and even years to make an outstanding painting, it might be true that with a computer program others might finish faster but the computer won't provide and correct realistic details as the painter does.
Another noteworthy aspect that should be reflected in this important explanation is that working using one's hands, is more natural and healthy. In the past, people used to make everything by their own, in other words; without any machine, now this plight has changed. Due to the fact that companies have focused on money more than any other thing. As a result, workers have gained weight and became lazy. For instance, my friend Jose is good example about that. Years ago, he worked as a trash collector and Jose walked a lot in the streets, now this has changed because he uses and small car to walk in the streets and collect his recycle. As a result, he has gained weight, and even his doctor thinks that Jose might develop diabetes.
Finally, besides being healthy and natural to work with hands, also it develop more skills in people. To illustrate that let's mention to the students twenty years ago. They didn't have computers to type and make their homework. Notwithstanding, students in the past had a better spelling and reading skills than today's students because they didn't have more alternative rather than practice a lot.
In conclusion, In my perspective, it is much better to use our hands to work instead of machines because in this way people develop products with more quality, is more natural and healthy and finally but not least people develop more skills.
- Writing 1 toefl 70
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I outright prefer don't use machines
I outright prefer not to use machines
my friend Jose is good example
my friend Jose is a good example
Sentence: Due to the fact that machines cannot compared with a human being's hands.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to cannot and compared
Sentence: Finally, besides being healthy and natural to work with hands, also it develop more skills in people.
Description: The fragment it develop more is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace develop with verb, past tense
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 451 350
No. of Characters: 2111 1500
No. of Different Words: 225 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.608 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.681 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.411 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 146 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 108 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 59 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.476 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.377 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.476 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.286 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.494 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.076 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5