People succeed because of their hard work, but some say it is something else that is significant for success. How far do you agree with this statement?
Hard work is the key to success. It is widely seen that most people have been successful because of their continuous hard work. However, some people believe that there are other vital factors associated with the success. In my perspective, I totally agree that only hard working would make a person successful irrespective of other aspects.
In my point of view, I believe that people who are successful, are not only march towards their vision by doing hard work but also they tend to do some smart work. These hard working people possess some primordial skills such as time management and punctuality which facilitate them to pursue their career efficiently. Besides, they have a strong vision towards their success that prevents them to sleep until they attain their goal. Thus, people achieve their success only through their hard work.
However, some say that there are other significant criteria that favour people to be more successful. Admittedly, they believe that luck factor and skills that come from birth enable people to be so. In addition to that, they think that victorious people have utilised their parent’s money for investment that made them to move along the success path. Nevertheless, I feel that success which comes because of the above mentioned factors. In contrast, the real success is achieved only by hard working people. Evidently, this sort of success is considered as the long term real success.
To put in a nutshell, even though supportive factors are helpful, hard work is the out most factor that poses a green pasture in achieving real success that remain strong and steady throughout their lifetime. Hence, people who are optimistic in hard work taste their fruit called ‘success’.
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Comments
are not only march towards
are not only march towards their vision by doing hard work but also they tend to do some smart work.
Description: 'Not only...but also' is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?
In my point of view, I believe that people, who are successful, not only march towards their vision with their hard work but also they do some smart work.
I got 7 band in my previous essay. But this topic made me to think very less ideas, thus it ruined my band score. Please provide some tips to tackle this kind of vague topic during exams.
Thank you very much!
'not only...but also' is for
'not only...but also' is for parallel structure, so it should be:
not only march towards their vision with their hard work, but also do some smart work.
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The correct pattern is like this:
paragraph 1: introduction. Your ideas/opinions here. (I think hard working is the key to success.)
paragraph 2: Admittedly, there are other factors to make people successful like luck, fortunes from parents. First, ... Second, ...
paragraph 3: However, still I think hard working is more significant for success. reason 1 + why reason 1 + example for reason 1 + a small conclusion for reason 1.
paragraph 4: reason 2 + why reason 2 + example for reason 2+ a small conclusion for reason 2.
paragraph 5: conclusion.
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Keep this pattern in mind. you can always follow this pattern for other essays.
We are in different time
We are in different time zones, so the questions may not be answered on time. Sorry for the inconvenience.
are not only march towards their vision by doing hard work but also they tend to do some smart work.
Description: 'Not only...but also' is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?
flaws:
No. of Different Words: 148 200 //duplicated content and ideas
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 283 350
No. of Characters: 1401 1500
No. of Different Words: 148 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.102 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.951 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.347 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 97 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 68 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 34 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 25 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.688 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.38 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.386 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.546 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.144 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5