Deciding on job, the salary is the most important consideration. What extent do you agree or disagree?

Essay topics:

Deciding on job, the salary is the most important consideration. What extent do you agree or disagree?

In this materialistic society, more and more people are looking for a job with high salary, but others think that improving skills is more important for doing a job. Indeed, there is no doubt that the salary is also important. There are so many things making most people admit that the salary is the most important in choosing a job.

First, a large majority of workers are focusing on earning fortunes in order to cover the needs and provide them with security, such as places to live, food, education. These cause more and more people are seeking the fortunes, such as Indonesia, Indonesian people tend to decide a job with good salary because of the demand of life, in addition, all things are more and more expensive.

Besides all things are getting more and more expensive, the economy of Indonesia is going down, this causes not only is living cost more and more expensive but also the expense of education and services in Indonesia become very expensive. Moreover, the development of Indonesia is increasing very slowly, as a result, the government can not give people subsidization. Consequently, Indonesians are more difficult to fulfill the necessities.

I personally agree that looking for a high-salary job is the most important thing of all things regarding a job such as improving skills, making good relations among workers. Because of this expensive era, most people are trying to cover both their needs and their unexpected financial difficulties, so that the salary of a job becomes an important consideration.

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Comments

the salary is the most important in choosing a job.
the salary is the most important thing in choosing a job.

this causes not only is living cost more and more expensive but also the expense of education
Description: 'Not only...but also' is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?

Sentence: Moreover, the development of Indonesia is increasing very slowly, as a result, the government can not give people subsidization.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to people and subsidization

flaws:
No. of Different Words: 122 200

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 254 350
No. of Characters: 1242 1500
No. of Different Words: 122 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.992 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.89 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.667 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 91 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 61 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 45 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.891 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 1 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.436 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.669 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.143 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5