Do you think that television programs, movies, and videos games influence young people’s behavior?
The issue that movies, television, and video games have had fundamental influence in the young generations' behaviors is an undeniable fact. In various ways, each program shown to the children and teenagers can affect the mentalities, personalities, and attitudes of them. In various societies, this contention has become a controversial debate among psychologists and created a quite stir in numerous circles and field of studies. To my perspective, they have both positive and negative effects on the manner and actions of the individuals. In what follows, I delineate my justifications.
First, some TV programs and serials have destructive and detrimental effects on children. For instance, some action movies depicting the issues of murder, homicide, pain, violence, and rage might cause that children become more aggressive and get hot temper. In some extent, it is shown the hero of movie is a murder or a criminal person who is extremely powerful, so some children might start considering them as models for their actions and imitate the same unacceptable behaviors.
Second, on the contrast, there are also some great programs of TV which might improve a few of good qualities in persons. In fact, some movies while showing and talking about the real events can teach the individuals how to act and accomplish in the real circumstance. Similarly, Romantic movies might remind people about humanities and lead them to be more generous and righteous.
The last but not least, video games are beneficial in boosting some characteristics. As a matter of fact, a good video game is associated with the some hardness and difficulties that a person trying to solve them can get some problem solving skills, leadership and management skill, flexible mind. Players learn to be more brave in order to take risk in the life. In addition, children can become more communicative and sociabl while dealing and playing with their partners and friends in game.
All in all, with taking all above-mentioned argument in consideration, I reiterate that TV programs, and video games have definitely impact on the person's personalities. Even though there are some sophisticated individuals who might against the importance of those programs on the attitudes and characteristics of the populations, I still cite a clear favor for their roles in the person's behavior.
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might cause that children become more aggressive
might cause children to become more aggressive
Sentence: Even though there are some sophisticated individuals who might against the importance of those programs on the attitudes and characteristics of the populations, I still cite a clear favor for their roles in the person's behavior.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a preposition
Suggestion: Refer to might and against
Sentence: In addition, children can become more communicative and sociabl while dealing and playing with their partners and friends in game.
Error: sociabl Suggestion: social
flaws:
Don't use 'first, second' because there are parallel. try this pattern:
paragraph 1: introduction. Your ideas/opinions here.
paragraph 2: Admittedly, there are some advantages of side A. First, ... Second, ...
paragraph 3: However, still I support side B. reason 1 + why reason 1 + example for reason 1 + a small conclusion for reason 1.
paragraph 4: In addition, reason 2 + why reason 2 + example for reason 2+ a small conclusion for reason 2.
paragraph 5: conclusion.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 376 350
No. of Characters: 1929 1500
No. of Different Words: 208 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.403 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.13 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.971 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 134 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 105 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 80 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.118 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.471 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.529 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.308 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.555 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.102 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5