Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well.

Although a certain conclusion cannot be made, in spite of all undeniable merits of taking risk. I firmly concur with the idea that prosperous people attempt to new thing. In the following paragraphs, the most conspicuous reasons will cogently substantiate this perspective.

First, the most noticeable merit of the notion is pertaining to the spirit. We all know that fulfilling a great deal of repetitive activities is considerably boring. As a matter of fact, a luck mind could not be successful due to the fact that it is not admittedly refresh. Indeed, people who are highly avid for accomplishing a new idea definitely have a tremendous amount of innovation in their lives. In fact, in the modern world, an invention is greatly a precious wealth, which has a pivotal role in the community owing to this fact that a new task would be assist to the community and so forth. To demonstrate, most of the scientists all over the world contend that taking risks would lead a consideration number of benefits. So they established experimental program worldwide to estimate the importance of a risky task in the society, the results are surprising: over 90 percent of prosperity was immensely through novice ideas. This experience taught me that taking a risky task is an indispensable criterion for being famous in the world no doubt. Needless to say, an excessive number of celebrity was highly eager for discovering without hesitation.

Apart from the fact mentioned above, one should regard another subtle point meticulously in corroborating my stance that is pertaining to the money. All of us know that when people who like a routine procedure , they take a lower income . Ordinary tasks are common in the community; common jobs have a limited amount of income as well. The modern world offer striking examples of Bill gates who was greatly enthusiastic for new things .Under this circumstance he could obtained a plethora of money immediately. The noteworthy refreshingly intelligible statistics, revealed by a recent social research conducted in our country, show that the majority of students in the college like new things. Nevertheless ,To be frank, the majority of people are convinced that having a risky mind is a sheer waste of time and money since we have not a perfect dexterity for doing it.

Striving for a new idea is vital to everyone to survive today’s tough life. Consequently, as a final statement, I would like to point out that students in the college should be creative.

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Average: 6.5 (2 votes)
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to new thing.
to new things.

he could obtained a plethora of money immediately.
he could obtain a plethora of money immediately.

flaws:
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.274 0.35 //it means the content doesn't focus on the topic

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 415 350
No. of Characters: 2032 1500
No. of Different Words: 233 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.513 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.896 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.896 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 145 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.056 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.45 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.274 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.406 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.074 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5

What's your purpose from this sentence:
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.274 0.35 //it means the content doesn't focus on the topic
my grammatical error is so low.
Why can I take a low score?
Thanks