Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students who keep their rooms neat and organized will be more likely to succeed than students who do not.
It is generally agreed that there are some relations between different aspects of students’ life and their chance of becoming successful in the future. These aspects are either internal or external. One of them is whether the student keeps his room organized or not. The vast majority of people are of the opinion that this factor is not that much important to be considered. I contrary to the popular belief contend that students who keep their room neat and tidy are more likely to become successful in the future. In the following paragraphs, I will delve into the most conspicuous reasons and examples.
One of the reasons coming to mind at first is that an organized mind is the result of an organized room. This sentence is true not only about students but also about every single person at any age and any position. A The statistics which held out(!) recently in my area on students reveals that, the tidier the student is, the better grades he has. Another psychological survey conducted in the same area which was about the factors which lead to an organized mind disclosed that being organized in other parts of life results in an organized mind.
Another equally noteworthy point supporting my opinion is that, Students will have a better concentration on what they are doing in an organized room. Since hardly any normal person likes studying, it is important to minimize the distractors when one is studying. A disorganized room has a great number of distractors. As an example in such rooms there are video games, books or music albums all over the room which are appealing to the student. The student will be distracted and be tempted all the time to stop studying and play some games or listen to some pieces of music. In contrast, if these stuffs items are not all over the room, the student will not have to use his efforts against this temptation and can concentrate on his studying.
Last but not least, neat and organized room reduces the stress of the student. It has been borne out that the place where one lives and works has considerable effects on one’s mental state. There are some hints provided by psychologists to make the most proper places for every action. As an instance, scientists claim that people would have a more comfortable sleep in rooms whose walls are painted in blue. There are some factors- like the previous factor- which help students to release their stresses. Since one of the main reasons of stress is disorder in any aspect of life, with an organized room, students can reduce the rate of stress, the mental disease which students are most vulnerable to.
To wrap it up, all aforementioned reasons and examples lead us to the conclusion that there is a direct relation between how students keep their place and their chance of becoming successful in the future. However, that was a story in a nutshell. Actually, there are other reasons and examples elaborating on this idea which are not mentioned above due to the dearth of time. Finally, it is suggested that a survey be conducted to find more information about this issue.
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A The statistics which held out(!) recently in my area
The statistics which are held out(!) recently in my area
which was about the factors which lead to an organized mind
Description: don't put two 'which' together
Since hardly any normal person likes studying,
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
sleep in rooms whose walls are painted in blue
sleep in rooms where the walls are painted in blue
a survey be conducted to find more information about this issue.
a survey can be conducted to find more information about this issue.
Sentence: In contrast, if these stuffs items are not all over the room, the student will not have to use his efforts against this temptation and can concentrate on his studying.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to stuffs and items
Sentence: Since hardly any normal person likes studying, it is important to minimize the distractors when one is studying.
Error: distractors Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: A disorganized room has a great number of distractors.
Error: distractors Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Words: 533 350
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 533 350
No. of Characters: 2493 1500
No. of Different Words: 244 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.805 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.677 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.489 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 164 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 120 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 82 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.464 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.269 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.272 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.467 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.07 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5