Milk and dairy products are rich in vitamin D and calcium — substances essential
for building and maintaining bones. Many people therefore say that a diet rich in
dairy products can help prevent osteoporosis, a disease that is linked to both
environmental and genetic factors and that causes the bones to weaken
significantly with age. But a long-term study of a large number of people found that
those who consistently consumed dairy products throughout the years of the study
have a higher rate of bone fractures than any other participants in the study. Since
bone fractures are symptomatic of osteoporosis, this study result shows that a diet
rich in dairy products may actually increase, rather than decrease, the risk of
osteoporosis.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the
argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The article states that the milk and diary products when consumed in daily basis can increase the rate of bone fracture. However, three questions must be answered before the argument can be properly evaluated.
Firstly, Who are these large number of people? Are the large number of people pundits who know everything about the significance of the dairy products. They article should mention about these people who are doing this study. The article should provide the information like their occupation or their experience which would have strengthen the evidence.
Secondly, When was this long term study done? There has been no time stamp provided for the data. The study should can be very old or it might very recent which is not provided. The article should provide the details that when was the study done. There will be a lot of changes in the cows and buffalos of old time as the care and food that is fed to them and many such details can vary the observation. Such information would strengthen the evidence.
Lastly, What is the cause of the fracture? The cause of the facture is not provided. The fracture can happen by an accident or many such reasons. The article should provide the information about the people who are victim of osteoporosis and they should also provide the count of it to strengthen the evidence.
In conclusion, the argument, as it stands now is considerably flawed due to its reliance of unwanted assumptions. If the author is able to answer the three questions above and offer more evidence (perhaps in the form of a systematic way), then it will be possible to fully evaluate a thorough study must be done and with all the precautionary measures provided.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-01-18 | vrajgparekh | 78 | view |
| 2022-11-16 | raghavchauhan619 | 78 | view |
| 2022-11-02 | sajiniS | 58 | view |
| 2022-10-28 | bissu | 33 | view |
| 2022-10-22 | patty.patt | 58 | view |
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 290 350
No. of Characters: 1369 1500
No. of Different Words: 148 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.127 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.721 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.458 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 89 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 67 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 48 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.111 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.678 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.389 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.309 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.55 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 328, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'strengthened'.
Suggestion: strengthened
...on or their experience which would have strengthen the evidence. Secondly, When was thi...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 147, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...en by an accident or many such reasons. The article should provide the information ...
^^^
Line 7, column 207, Rule ID: WHO_NOUN[1]
Message: A noun should not follow "who". Try changing to a verb or maybe to 'who is a are'.
Suggestion: who is a are
...rovide the information about the people who are victim of osteoporosis and they should ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, however, if, lastly, second, secondly, so, then, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 17.0 28.8173652695 59% => OK
Preposition: 29.0 55.5748502994 52% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1410.0 2260.96107784 62% => OK
No of words: 290.0 441.139720559 66% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.86206896552 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.12666770723 4.56307096286 90% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56177888551 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 151.0 204.123752495 74% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.520689655172 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 443.7 705.55239521 63% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 22.8473053892 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 52.9058096182 57.8364921388 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 78.3333333333 119.503703932 66% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.1111111111 23.324526521 69% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.66666666667 5.70786347227 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0911405223376 0.218282227539 42% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0285723487677 0.0743258471296 38% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0352868842703 0.0701772020484 50% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0521967686137 0.128457276422 41% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.034462455992 0.0628817314937 55% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.5 14.3799401198 66% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 48.3550499002 132% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 12.197005988 69% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.61 12.5979740519 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.53 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 57.0 98.500998004 58% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 12.3882235529 48% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.1389221557 75% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.