There is now evidence that the relaxed pace of life in small towns promotes better health and greater longevity than does the hectic pace of life in big cities. Businesses in the small town of Leeville report fewer days of sick leave taken by individual workers than do businesses in the nearby large city of Masonton. Furthermore, Leeville has only one physician for its one thousand residents, but in Masonton the proportion of physicians to residents is five times as high. Finally, the average age of Leeville residents is significantly higher than that of Masonton residents. These findings suggest that the relaxed pace of life in Leeville allows residents to live longer, healthier lives.
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
A statement about the better health life and better life expectancy of people living in small towns in contrast with people living in large cities is being proposed as an explanation derived from the facts from two cities, Leevile and Masonton. The author claims less days of sick leave, one physician compared to more physicians and a larger average age in the small town of Leevile in contrast with those in the big city of Masonton as facts which support his explanations. However, a different interpretation of these three facts may lead to different explanations than those proposed. Allow me to elaborate more on the following paragraphs.
The author states that the average age of residents in the small town of Leevile is greater than those living in Masonton and uses this fact in order to support his conclusion that the life expectancy in small towns is larger than life expectancy in big, crowded cities. However an alternative explanation to this phenomenon may be valid. This could be explained because Leevile is a small town and only the elderly live there while the younger ones in search for work have moved to bigger cities such as Masonton. This could change the conclusion due to the fact that because the average age is greater this does not mean that the life expectancy is longer it may mean that in large cities the average age drops due to the fact that many younger citizens live and work there.
In addition, the author is mentioning the only one physician for the one thousand residents in Leevile in contrast with the higher proportion rate of physicians to residents in Masonton. The above, indicates that the citizens of Leevile are not sick often and therefore a physician is not needed. However, the above fact could be interpreted otherwise. More specifically, maybe in the city of Masonton the proportion is higher due to the fact that a University is situated near Masonton and many young physicians decide to practice their profession in Masonton instead of moving to a new small town such as Leevile. The above example indicates that an alternative explanation such as the presence of a University near Masonton can explain the fact of the higher proportion rates of physicians to residents and thus to undermine the conclusion of the author.
Lastly, according to the author the working residents of Leevile are taking less sick leaves than the working people in Mansoton and this can be interpreted that they are sick less often than the citizens in Mansoton which is a bigger, more fast paced city. However, a different interpretation of the above fact may change the proposed explanation by the author. No one can dispute that the pace of life and the working hours in a big city are more fast than a small town and this fact is what may push more people in Mansoton to take sick leaves even if they are not sick in order to relax a day or two from their jobs and spend some quality time with their families. The above does not indicate that their health is in more severe condition than the health of the citizens of Leevile it may mean that they want to relax and spend some time with their keens in order to have a better health and a better life expectancy.
To sum up, in this essay a series of alternative explanations were demonstrated in the paragraphs above mostly through examples. These explanations may indicate that the author should provide more evidence in order for his proposed explanation to stand out and be valid from everyone.
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- better:
in Leeville, proportionally much less people take sick days than in the large city of Masoton, may depend on the employers attitude. In smaller city of Leeville, employers policy may be not so favourable as in the Masonton. Much harsh restrictions may apply in the smaller city compared to the bigger one, where people may be free to take a sick day whenever they want. In Leeville, on the other hand, additional proof from the medical doctor may be required to thake the day off.
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Attribute Value Ideal
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Category: Satisfactory Excellent
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No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
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No. of Different Words: 198 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.96 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.712 4.6
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Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
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Sentence Length SD: 15.961 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.895 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.345 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.555 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.066 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5