Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most advertisements make products seem much better then they really are. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer
There is no shortage of debates that, advertisement of product is one of the best strategy used by company to increase their selling rates of products in our modern society. While some advertisements target to exhibit features of products, other mainly use some methods to make them seem more attractive in eyes of consumers. Personally I completely agree with the idea that nowadays a lot of advertisements try to trick consumers by aggragating of real products. I feel this way for several reasons, which I will explore in my following essay.
To begin with, advertisers usually change real look of product, they show them bigger, with higher quality and better view. Companies apply these strategy on the things that used by children, this is because, it is easier making them believe than adults. Drawing my own experience, I remember when I was child, I realy wanted to try every cakes, sweet what I saw in the television. However after buying them I got dissappointed due to they were not extraordinary as seen in the TV. Moreover, their taste were not good than sometimes their older versions. That is why, advertisements do not reflect products as real as them.
Secondly, some advertisers use some fictional heroes to attract more children and encourage them to buy these to become as their favourite heroes. I have to admit that my opinion on this matter has been profoundly influenced by my personal experience. As a children I loved to watch a cartoon called Ben10. After this cartoon film, there was published an advertisement about his watch, which it has sensors on this glass, and videos about his various characters in TV show. However after buying this watch I realised that it was not bright as it was in the television and instead of sensor, there was only picture of characters on watch. I was too upset. Therefore, advertisers use these characters to sell more products and get more profit.
In the light of aforementioned reasons, I strongly believe that in these days, advertisement neglect properties of actual product by using varied methods, such as reflecting them more beautiful or more advanced with higher quality than their actual materials.
- TOEFL T P O 12 Integrated Writing Task 3
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Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 21, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
There is no shortage of debates that, advertisement of produc...
^^
Line 2, column 140, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this strategy' or 'these strategies'?
Suggestion: this strategy; these strategies
...uality and better view. Companies apply these strategy on the things that used by children, th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 382, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...es, sweet what I saw in the television. However after buying them I got dissappointed d...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 253, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...y influenced by my personal experience. As a children I loved to watch a cartoon c...
^^
Line 3, column 256, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a child' or simply 'children'?
Suggestion: a child; children
...nfluenced by my personal experience. As a children I loved to watch a cartoon called Ben10...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 475, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...bout his various characters in TV show. However after buying this watch I realised that...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 645, Rule ID: TOO_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'to upset'?
Suggestion: to upset
...y picture of characters on watch. I was too upset. Therefore, advertisers use these chara...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, look, moreover, second, secondly, so, therefore, while, as to, i feel, such as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 9.8082437276 10% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 13.8261648746 43% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 55.0 43.0788530466 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1813.0 1977.66487455 92% => OK
No of words: 364.0 407.700716846 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.98076923077 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.36792674256 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84997383557 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Unique words: 205.0 212.727598566 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.563186813187 0.524837075471 107% => OK
syllable_count: 567.9 618.680645161 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.6987481749 48.9658058833 110% => OK
Chars per sentence: 100.722222222 100.406767564 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.2222222222 20.6045352989 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.88888888889 5.45110844103 108% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.163050913442 0.236089414692 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0529361793097 0.076458572812 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0512952659343 0.0737576698707 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.107772047717 0.150856017488 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0462949608168 0.0645574589148 72% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 11.7677419355 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 58.1214874552 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.6 10.9000537634 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.71 8.01818996416 109% => OK
difficult_words: 94.0 86.8835125448 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 21, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
There is no shortage of debates that, advertisement of produc...
^^
Line 2, column 140, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this strategy' or 'these strategies'?
Suggestion: this strategy; these strategies
...uality and better view. Companies apply these strategy on the things that used by children, th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 382, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...es, sweet what I saw in the television. However after buying them I got dissappointed d...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 253, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...y influenced by my personal experience. As a children I loved to watch a cartoon c...
^^
Line 3, column 256, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a child' or simply 'children'?
Suggestion: a child; children
...nfluenced by my personal experience. As a children I loved to watch a cartoon called Ben10...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 475, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...bout his various characters in TV show. However after buying this watch I realised that...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 645, Rule ID: TOO_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'to upset'?
Suggestion: to upset
...y picture of characters on watch. I was too upset. Therefore, advertisers use these chara...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, look, moreover, second, secondly, so, therefore, while, as to, i feel, such as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 9.8082437276 10% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 13.8261648746 43% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 55.0 43.0788530466 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 53.0 52.1666666667 102% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1813.0 1977.66487455 92% => OK
No of words: 364.0 407.700716846 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.98076923077 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.36792674256 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84997383557 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Unique words: 205.0 212.727598566 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.563186813187 0.524837075471 107% => OK
syllable_count: 567.9 618.680645161 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.6987481749 48.9658058833 110% => OK
Chars per sentence: 100.722222222 100.406767564 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.2222222222 20.6045352989 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.88888888889 5.45110844103 108% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.163050913442 0.236089414692 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0529361793097 0.076458572812 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0512952659343 0.0737576698707 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.107772047717 0.150856017488 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0462949608168 0.0645574589148 72% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 11.7677419355 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 58.1214874552 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.6 10.9000537634 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.71 8.01818996416 109% => OK
difficult_words: 94.0 86.8835125448 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.