The following appeared as part of the Dean’s newsletter:
"The University of Wabash is considering a community service requirement for all undergraduate and graduate students. We believe that the objective of any university is to produce well-rounded and charitable members of society. The proposed graduation requirement would be to complete at least 8 hours of unpaid community service per month for a total of 9 months. The Dean’s office will maintain a list of approved local charities on its website with contact information. This is a fantastic opportunity for students to give back to the community and gain real-world working experience. Most importantly, local charities in need will receive the help that they need to continue their efforts."
The central claim here is that the charities in need will receive whatever help they need through this compulsory program, which will benefit them. I'm afraid I have to disagree with the author's claim due to various unstated claims.
Firstly the author has been very vague in the usage of the terms "well-rounded and charitable". The author doesn't go on to describe what a well-rounded student is or what he can be expected to do. It is possible that a well-rounded student is one who is academically doing well as well as participating in lots of sports and extra circulars. On the other hand, it is also possible that it refers to a student who isn't very bright but is charitable and always helps those in need. Further, the author assumes that by helping at these charities the students themselves will become charitable which is not necessary. The author should have conducted a study that would account for the improvements in students that have done community service versus those that haven't to back their claim.
Further, the author has failed to make a clear connection between the students choosing charities and those charities which are in need. There is a high possibility that lots of students sign up for a charity that doesn't need a lot of volunteers. This could lead to a whole mess where most student volunteers are doing insignificant or no work whilst they could have been helping some other charity in need. It also doesn't specify whether the students will have a skillset that can help these charities in a substantial way other than doing menial jobs.
Another unstated assumption that the author makes is that every student volunteer will work properly and efficiently for the allotted time. However, each class has a number of no-gooders who will try to avoid any work and end up being a negative influence on the volunteers at the charity, Another factor to be considered is that the number of students might already be doing charitable work at an organization which isn't stated on the website. In such a case a student will either leave that charity or risk being overloaded with work. Both these scenarios aren't good and haven't been accounted for by the author.
Lastly, the proposed time of 8 hrs of work for 9 months has no substantial backing or evidence to support it. It's entirely possible that this time period is not enough to convert someone who is not an all-rounder to someone who is. It could just as well become an additional burden to students who are already struggling in academics. In order to establish the validity of this duration, the author needs to provide evidence or cite a research study that claims the duration is sufficient to bring forth the intended results.
To conclude the author has failed to factor in a number of factors while also missing out on evidence to back their claims. They have used words like all-rounder vaguely and failed to convince me that this idea of compulsory charity for a fixed amount of time will benefit either the charity or the students.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-08-25 | Ruhani | 58 | view |
| 2023-03-05 | Shubhan Mital | 74 | view |
| 2023-02-12 | Sheikh Munim | 65 | view |
| 2022-06-30 | sag15 | 58 | view |
| 2022-04-02 | harvey_elliot | 55 | view |
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 11 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 532 350
No. of Characters: 2469 1500
No. of Different Words: 236 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.803 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.641 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.594 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 168 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 128 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 82 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.182 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.294 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.409 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.306 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.55 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.089 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 149, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: I'm
...lsory program, which will benefit them. Im afraid I have to disagree with the auth...
^^
Line 3, column 118, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ounded and charitable'. The author doesnt go on to describe what a well-rounded s...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 284, Rule ID: PHRASE_REPETITION[1]
Message: This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only 'well as'.
Suggestion: well as
...tudent is one who is academically doing well as well as participating in lots of sports and ext...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 424, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: isn't
...ossible that it refers to a student who isnt very bright but is charitable and alway...
^^^^
Line 3, column 769, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: haven't
...one community service versus those that havent to back their claim. Further, the au...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 215, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... of students sign up for a charity that doesnt need a lot of volunteers. This could le...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 417, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ing some other charity in need. It also doesnt specify whether the students will have ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 504, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a substantial way" with adverb for "substantial"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... skillset that can help these charities in a substantial way other than doing menial jobs. Anothe...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 418, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: isn't
...haritable work at an organization which isnt stated on the website. In such a case a...
^^^^
Line 7, column 559, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: aren't
...rloaded with work. Both these scenarios arent good and havent been accounted for by t...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 574, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: haven't
...rk. Both these scenarios arent good and havent been accounted for by the author. La...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, lastly, so, well, while, as well as, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 22.0 12.9520958084 170% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 28.0 13.6137724551 206% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 45.0 28.8173652695 156% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 63.0 55.5748502994 113% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2528.0 2260.96107784 112% => OK
No of words: 523.0 441.139720559 119% => OK
Chars per words: 4.83365200765 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.78217453174 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69377477465 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 242.0 204.123752495 119% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.462715105163 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 777.6 705.55239521 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.2978298735 57.8364921388 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.909090909 119.503703932 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.7727272727 23.324526521 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.27272727273 5.70786347227 75% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 5.25449101796 209% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.105011356528 0.218282227539 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0365737930334 0.0743258471296 49% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0306685625622 0.0701772020484 44% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0535340045708 0.128457276422 42% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0403976076787 0.0628817314937 64% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.03 12.5979740519 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.74 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 98.500998004 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.