Some people suggest that children do not understand he world of work and schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects To what extent do you agree

Essay topics:

Some people suggest that children do not understand he world of work and schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects. To what extent do you agree?

A number of people are afraid that their children may be negatively affected when they go to work too early despite spending time in school and some people require school to add more time for working. I contend that in some circumstances the young can balance the time between school and work in order to improve their skills. However, from my perspective, I strongly disagree with the given statement.

One of the main reasons leading to my disagreement is that nowadays students must face a lot of pressure from studying, examinations, homework, and their peers. Imagine that in the final term, the youth has to do a lot of tests at school, students need to solve a great number of lessons, revising each note in class even though they are not in their workplace yet but they experience clearly the feeling when dealing with a lot of work. Therefore, forcing teenagers to work can reduce their time in gaining knowledge and recharge their energies which can cause some mental health problems at a young age. In terms of some academic jobs such as engineer, scientist or physicist,..., each of these has specific characteristics which require the students must understand theories deeply if young students don't know about this abstract knowledge how they can apply it to these particular jobs.

By contrast, I claim that teenagers can both maintain studying at school and acquiring experiences at work depending on what kind of their future job. For example, if a child wants to be a football player obviously, he doesn’t have to learn a lot of difficult mathematic formulas at school, he just needs to take practical experience and then to expose to his suitable environment the fastest way is to take a job related to his passion such as coach assistant and after that exchange knowledge with like-minded people around him. Therefore he can upgrade his skill and follow his ideal job

In brief, although in some kind of job, the young can both work and learn to improve themselves. I firmly believe that working too soon has more drawbacks than advantages.

Votes
Average: 7.8 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 678, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , .
...such as engineer, scientist or physicist,..., each of these has specific character...
^^
Line 4, column 804, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...stand theories deeply if young students dont know about this abstract knowledge how ...
^^^^
Line 6, column 532, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...dge with like-minded people around him. Therefore he can upgrade his skill and follow his...
^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, may, so, then, therefore, as to, for example, in brief, kind of, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 13.1623246493 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 7.85571142285 140% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 10.4138276553 115% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 7.30460921844 151% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 24.0651302605 154% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 55.0 41.998997996 131% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.3376753507 72% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1724.0 1615.20841683 107% => OK
No of words: 351.0 315.596192385 111% => OK
Chars per words: 4.91168091168 5.12529762239 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.32839392791 4.20363070211 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69678850512 2.80592935109 96% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 176.041082164 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.569800569801 0.561755894193 101% => OK
syllable_count: 513.0 506.74238477 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 5.43587174349 110% => OK
Article: 3.0 2.52805611222 119% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 16.0721442886 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 31.0 20.2975951904 153% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 89.2242971763 49.4020404114 181% => OK
Chars per sentence: 156.727272727 106.682146367 147% => OK
Words per sentence: 31.9090909091 20.7667163134 154% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.18181818182 7.06120827912 116% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.01903807615 60% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.67935871743 58% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.9879759519 100% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.212612279133 0.244688304435 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0820986987424 0.084324248473 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0600199994261 0.0667982634062 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.13217714521 0.151304729494 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0469845882949 0.056905535591 83% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.7 13.0946893788 135% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.47 50.2224549098 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 11.3001002004 126% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.79 12.4159519038 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.86 8.58950901804 103% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 78.4519038076 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 9.78957915832 112% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.4 10.1190380762 142% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.