Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Many parents are considering to nurture their children by competing something, joining their kids some competitions in order to develop their winner mentality, while others prefer to teach their children with alliance spirit, for the purpose that become a useful lesson in the future. Furthermore, each perception has virtue and the drawbacks which is explained in the following paragraph.
The adolescents who has been taught to race something since they were younger, tend to use their spirit to be number one in every occasion, for instances in sports competitions, the children usually work harder to be the winner, and academic rank which become the tightest race among the students. Therefore, this circumstance will become good impacts for the generation, with seeking children’s ability and shaping their mentality, since earlier age. However, some children have tendency to consider their colleague as their rival and ignore to seek the benefits of team working.
On the other hand, the parents whose children have cooperation spirit in the future, has been taught to make networks with many people since they were kids, for example they will learn to make group discussion instead of self-study to get good mark at the school, and the aftermath of this condition will create good character when they make a good organization as well as good leadership admittedly. Nevertheless, this type of children have lessen motivation to reach their goals according to their customary to avoid competing something.
In conclusion, in this developed world, certainly need kind of people who have cooperating spirit and team working mentality in order to invent something with their groups or organization, accompaniment with workspace goals, thus will make peace environment, broaden networking, and better result.
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for the purpose that become a useful lesson
for the purpose that becomes a useful lesson
for the purpose to become a useful lesson
each perception has virtue and the drawbacks which is explained in the following paragraph.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
The adolescents who has been taught
The adolescents who have been taught
the parents whose children have cooperation spirit in the future, has been taught
the parents ... have been taught
this type of children have lessen motivation to reach their goals
this type of children has less motivations to reach their goals
in this developed world, certainly need kind of people
in this developed world, it certainly needs kind of people
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 8 15
No. of Words: 282 350
No. of Characters: 1496 1500
No. of Different Words: 158 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.098 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.305 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.678 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 112 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 81 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 35.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 17.591 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.875 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.41 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.689 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.05 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5