Some people prefer to work for themselves or own a business. Others prefer to work for an employer. Would you rather be self-employed, work for someone else, or own a business? Use specific reasons to explain your choice.

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Some people prefer to work for themselves or own a business. Others prefer to work for an employer. Would you rather be self-employed, work for someone else, or own a business? Use specific reasons to explain your choice.

The jobs that we have play a significant role in our lives because of spending the most of our times for them. Everyone will answer this question based on his/her own characters, emotional concerns or personal experience. Since a logical response requires an accurate analyses from both side, I claim that owning a business is a better choice; thus, I present the following points.

The first reason that it is obvious about my idea is that working on your own can assist you to earn more money. I admit that starting a business is very hard work to do and it will consume a lot of energy and money at the beginning. But, by passing time and developing this business, all of these hardships will be forgotten. For instance, my friend John started a computer Company five years ago while he hadn't enough money for it. He insisted on his work and now he is very successful in his life. I should mention that he had opportunities to work for other employer, but if John accepted his offer he couldn't get these achievements and company today. As you can see, working on your own will let you to earn more profit.

Another point that we should consider is that working on your own will brings more time and freedom. Usually employers don't like to get break for their employees and they always looks for their personal profit. By working for an employer an individual should donate his/her time just for the company that he/she works for. Moreover, if employers want a few days break in order to have fun, they should implore for these requests.

Last but not least, working on your own will brings more authority which is a popular goal for me. In a company or organization it is the manager who make the final decisions, even though if he ask others to advices. Starting a business will make me to be the head of the company, which leads me to have power on my employees. In addition, I can hire everyone who I like, such as my friends or family members.

To sum up, although many people like to work for an employer, I prefer to work for myself in order to own a business due to mentioned justifications.

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The jobs that we have play a significant role in our lives because of spending the most of our times for them
Description: 'them' refers to what? Be sensitive to use pronouns.

working on your own can assist you to earn more money.
working on your own can assists you to earn more money.

is very hard work to do
is very a hard work to do

will let you to earn more profit.
will let you earn more profit.

will brings more time and freedom
will bring more time and freedom

and they always looks for their personal profit.
and they always look for their personal profit.

will brings more authority
will bring more authority

it is the manager who make the final decisions
it is the manager who makes the final decisions

I can hire everyone who I like,
I can hire everyone whom I like,

if he ask others
if he asks others

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2

Read a good grammar book.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 18 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 10 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 388 350
No. of Characters: 1676 1500
No. of Different Words: 206 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.438 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.32 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.408 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 106 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 79 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 52 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.421 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.172 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.526 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.309 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.528 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.156 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5