Some people say that schools should concentrate on teaching students academic subjects that will be useful for their future careers. Others people say that subjects such as music and sports are also necessary. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
While it is believed that subjects such as music and sports have a beneficial bearing to students' overall well-being, I contend that academic subjects could be practical in the employability in the future. In this essay, both wiew and the reasons for why I gravitate towards the latter will be presented.
On the one hand, doing sports regularly as a main subject in the syllabus can improve physical health and not be vulnerable to chronic illnesses. For example, if young students do not play sports often, they may suffer from the sedentary lifestyle which increase the blood pressure, failing to filter and discharge fats and sugar, heightening the risks of diseases such as obesity and diabets. In addition, listening to music also brings a sense of satisfaction to the brain which can enhance mental health. As a result, this can drain the elevated levels of stress, anxiety, and depression for students when they have to follow the intense study schedules at schools.
On the other hand, I believe that academic subjects play a more vital role as these are the determinant of future career. More specifically, studying such subjects help students identify a suitable career path. This can act as precursor to standing a better chance of job guarantee, especially high-paid jobs. In this case, by concentrating on academic subjects at schools, more educated workforce could be generated in many field such as science and politics, leading to the nation's prosperity and a civilised society.
In conclusion, although subjects related to music and sports could be advantageous to students' health in a certain extent, I maintain that other academic subjects should be considered as a more worthwhile path.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-10-23 | kienbanhkem | 78 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 420, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun field seems to be countable; consider using: 'many fields'.
Suggestion: many fields
...ducated workforce could be generated in many field such as science and politics, leading t...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 476, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'nations'' or 'nation's'?
Suggestion: nations'; nation's
...as science and politics, leading to the nations prosperity and a civilised society. In...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, if, may, so, well, while, for example, in addition, in conclusion, such as, as a result, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 13.1623246493 68% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 7.85571142285 127% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 10.4138276553 96% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 7.30460921844 96% => OK
Pronoun: 16.0 24.0651302605 66% => OK
Preposition: 31.0 41.998997996 74% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.3376753507 48% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1433.0 1615.20841683 89% => OK
No of words: 278.0 315.596192385 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.15467625899 5.12529762239 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.08329915638 4.20363070211 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8233835635 2.80592935109 101% => OK
Unique words: 161.0 176.041082164 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.579136690647 0.561755894193 103% => OK
syllable_count: 439.2 506.74238477 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 5.43587174349 110% => OK
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.10420841683 190% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.76152304609 147% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 16.0721442886 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 20.2975951904 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 53.0231510329 49.4020404114 107% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.272727273 106.682146367 122% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.2727272727 20.7667163134 122% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.1818181818 7.06120827912 144% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.67935871743 81% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.285207207696 0.244688304435 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.108046315874 0.084324248473 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0683602149983 0.0667982634062 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.188406830483 0.151304729494 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0489206019656 0.056905535591 86% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.5 13.0946893788 118% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 50.2224549098 92% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 11.3001002004 115% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.89 12.4159519038 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.59 8.58950901804 112% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 78.4519038076 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 9.78957915832 148% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.1190380762 119% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.7795591182 121% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.