GRE Argument:
The following appeared in a recommendation from the president of Amburg's Chamber of Commerce.
"Last October the city of Belleville installed high-intensity lighting in its central business district, and vandalism there declined within a month. The city of Amburg has recently begun police patrols on bicycles in its business district, but the rate of vandalism there remains constant. We should install high-intensity lighting throughout Amburg, then, because doing so is a more effective way to combat crime. By reducing crime in this way, we can revitalize the declining neighborhoods in our city."
The recommendation states that according to the experience of Belleville City, applying high-intensity lighting has higher effectiveness than police patrols on crime restraining. Therefore, Amburg should adopt high-intensity lighting to control the vandalism and then halt the decreasing neighborhoods. The suggestion of the recommendation is plausible since there are a few issues which render the suggestion unconvincing.
First of all, the author argues that high-intensity lighting will be practical because it is useful in Belleville City. However, there is no information about the differences and similarities between Belleville City and Amburg. It is possible that Amburg faces a wholly distinct situation and high-intensity lighting might defeat nothing in Amburg. Thus, it is hard to evaluate the feasibility of adopting high-intensity lighting in Amburg.
Secondly, the recommendation contends that the police patrols on bicycles in Belleville City cannot constrain the vandalism and then high-intensity lighting will be a better means to confront vandalism. Nevertheless, the key point might be the vehicles that patrols ride. Probably, the people who cause vandalism steer a faster vehicle than bicycles, such as motorcycles and cars. Changing a vehicle might be a more practical method to restrain vandalism than applying high-intensity lighting.
Finally, the author mentions that by using high-intensity lighting to reduce crime and bring the neighborhoods back to its glory. Notwithstanding, the author has not provided the information about the real cause of losing the neighborhoods. There might be other reasons that cause the leaving of the neighborhoods and adopting high-intensity lighting might be useless to bring the neighborhoods back.
To sum up, the recommendation needs more information to substantiate its stance. Although the author provides several reasons to support the author's view, the proposal should not be accepted until the information: the compare between the two cities, the vehicles steered by polices as well as vandalism, and the surveys about real cause of losing neighborhoods have been provided.
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argument 1 -- you told that: 'Amburg faces a wholly distinct situation and high-intensity lighting might defeat nothing in Amburg.', how do you know that? high-intensity lighting might work well too even it is in different situations.
argument 2 -- partly OK
argument 3 -- OK
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condition 1:
Last October the city of Belleville installed high-intensity lighting in its central business district, and vandalism there declined within a month. //maybe there is no causation between high-intensity lighting and vandalism decline
condition 2:
The city of Amburg has recently begun police patrols on bicycles in its business district, but the rate of vandalism there remains constant. //maybe police patrols on bicycles worked very well, but other reasons caused the the rate of vandalism constant.
conclusion:
We should install high-intensity lighting throughout Amburg, then, because doing so is a more effective way to combat crime. By reducing crime in this way, we can revitalize the declining neighborhoods in our city. //your argument 3 OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 315 350
No. of Characters: 1795 1500
No. of Different Words: 149 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.213 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.698 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.349 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 141 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 110 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 88 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.688 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.312 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.37 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.617 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.094 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5