All parents should be required to volunteer time to their children's schools.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.
Every parent has to take some time to do volunteer work in their children's schools. A discussion of parents and children is important since it could help parents to comprehend more about their children and society. I agree that parents should spend time volunteering in the kids' schools, because parents can apprehend more about the children, schools, and their societies.
First of all, if parents spend time in their children's schools, they might apprehend more about the behaviors of young children. Many parents might do not understand their kids very well. Through playing a role in the school, they might perceive the interaction between students and then understand the meaning and causes of their behaviors. For instance, some teenagers might wear a poor outfit which has holes on it. Usually, the parents cannot understand why they tend to wear so poorly. However, if the parents have some time in the school, they might find out that it is a popular style in the school.
Secondly, the parents can also understand the needs of the schools and children. Through doing volunteer work in the school, parents can comprehend what kind of services the school offers and what problems the school might have. There are not only teaching in the school but also experiments and activities. If parents have never been to the schools and spend time there, they might be not aware of the teaching quality, the equipment quality of experiment, and the danger of the activities. Therefore, if parents comprehend the school thoroughly, they might both help and find out the key points to improve the school environments.
Finally, the parents can understand the education system and problems in the society by volunteering in their children's schools. If parents really devote their efforts in doing the volunteer work, they could comprehend the mechanism of schools, which might also discover the ignoring elements and hidden problem of the whole education system. To illustrate, parents might apprehend that the lack of care and love might lead to aggressive young adults in our society.
To sum up, parents should take their time to do volunteer work in the children's schools to understand more about their children, the needs of education, the mechanism and problems of the societies. Otherwise, they might be indifferent to the land they lived.
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flaws:
need some comparisons for the paragraph 4, like this:
paragraph 1: introduction. Suppose we support side A.
paragraph 2: reason 1 + why reason 1 + example of reason 1 + a small conclusion (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1).
paragraph 3: reason 2 + why reason 2 + example of reason 2 + a small conclusion (like advantages of reason 2 or comparisons if not reason 2).
paragraph 4: Admittedly, there are some advantages of side B. First, ... Second, .... However, there is no causation/relation.... I still support side A...
paragraph 5: conclusion -- reinforce the thesis.
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for example, you may say something in the paragraph 4:
Admittedly, it is not possible for all parents to volunteer time to their children's schools. Some parents may have mental problems, or have criminal records... However, for other parents...
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No. of Different Words: 149 200 //More No. of Different Words wanted.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 384 350
No. of Characters: 1915 1500
No. of Different Words: 149 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.427 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.987 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.519 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 135 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 110 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 67 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.211 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.142 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.737 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.393 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.576 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.114 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5