TPO34: Integrated writing
The article states that there are three hypothesis to the declined Steller’s sea cow population in the water around Bering Island off the coast of Siberia and provides a reason of support to each. However, the professor says that no one know the main cause of the extinction and refutes each of the author’s reasons.
First, the reading claims that the sea cows may have been overhunted by groups of native Siberian people. The professor refutes this point by explaining that the sea cows were massive creatures, they were 9 meters long and 10 tons in weight. A couple of sea cows creatures could feed the Siberian village since the Siberian population was not large at that time. Therefore, even though the Siberian people hunt the sea cows, they don’t need to hunt a lot of them so the Siberian people are not the cause who brought the sea cows population to the point of extinction.
Second, the passage posits that the sea cow population may have become extinct because of the ecosystem disturbances that caused a decline in the sea cows main source of food, which is the Kelp. In contrast, the professor says that if something really happened in the Siberian ecosystem that will effect on other creatures not just on the kelp, such as the whales. However, nothing has been reported about such disturbances and that the sea cows had any food shortage.
Third, the author says that the main cause of extinction of the sea cows could have been European fur traders who came to Island after 1741 who killed a large number of the sea cows. The professor refutes this point by explaining that the sea cows population were low before the European fur traders arrived the Island. Consequently, there was something serious caused the extinction from hundred years ago before the European people arrived and should be considered the main cause.
- TPO-6 70
- Some students prefer classes with open discussions between the professor and students and almost no lectures. Other students prefer classes with lectures and almost no discussions. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your ans 70
- TPO-14 60
- Tpo25- integrated writing 80
- TPO31- Integrated writing 80
no one know the main cause
no one knows the main cause
that will effect on other creatures
that will affect on other creatures
should be considered the main cause.
should be considered as the main cause.
flaws:
No. of Words: 318 250
Write the essay in 20 minutes.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 12
No. of Words: 318 250
No. of Characters: 1495 1200
No. of Different Words: 150 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.223 4.2
Average Word Length: 4.701 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.368 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 103 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 70 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 46 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.089 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.446 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.653 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.164 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4