People's Behavior Is Largely Determined By Forces Not Of Their Own Making
The statement asserts that our behavior is largely attributed to the force around us governing our life rather than our own personal choice. It's conspicuous that our life is much more controlled by so much extraneous parameters like society, religion, culture, etiquette, responsibilities along with some other factors than by our own conscience & that's why I agree with that statement along with some qualifications.
From Darwin's evolution theory we learned about apes from where we are descended & if we take that theory to be true than we can see that the apes live a life of simple upbringing, without sophistication. On the other hand, we mankind entangled our life with lot of restrictions along with many maudlin issues. Apes can have a life of their own without any complexity as they don't have to worry who's bullying them, who's getting a better house, car. In contrast, we live a life of confinement, relentlessly trying to solve the equations of the terrestrial issues around us. Here my point to draw the issue of apes is that we human are making our life more complicated by so many factors, forces & those forces are governing our life rather than our mind but if there wasn't those complexities than we may had the life of freedom & could have followed what our soul wanted.
When a child is born, its instincts isn't controlled by the surroundings around it rather than it's subconscious mind. But as by getting old the child turns into a boy/girl & find that the world around him isn't the world he wanted to be rather its much more complicated. Society, culture, religion & family gradually debilitates his fledgling mind & force him to face the reality. Behavior & view towards life changes with the passage of time, he is forced to shrink his wishes toward the world.
If we look towards the south Asian subcontinent we can see that here a person grows up with much more difficulty as they have to maintain a lot of parameters. A girl can't have a night out with her friends because her society , religion most of the time doesn't allow it. Additionally she have to overcome a lot of barrier if she wants to establish herself as an independent women. When we were born, we had not face those difficulties & thus were driven by our mind but by time our mind become inured by the extraneous pressure & gradually we start to follow a path elicited by our surroundings consciously or subconsciously. We are trying to be social by being isolated by those forces. Though sometimes exceptions occurs, likewise if we look at the developed countries where people are more free & can pursue the pleasure of their mind. Moreover, restrictions aren't all the time what wins over our emotions, our mind. That's why sometimes we cry, we laugh, sometimes we do things which don't follow any mundane equation, any restriction.
So, finally we can't that say we don't drive us but we have to admit that our action, behavior are qualified by the restrictions, pressures which controls our behavior.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 66, Rule ID: NOUN_AROUND_IT[1]
Message: Consider using 'the surrounding force'?
Suggestion: the surrounding force
...t our behavior is largely attributed to the force around us governing our life rather than our own ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 212, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... life is much more controlled by so much extraneous parameters like society, reli...
^^
Line 3, column 719, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...complicated by so many factors, forces & those forces are governing our life rath...
^^
Line 5, column 62, Rule ID: NOUN_AROUND_IT[1]
Message: Consider using 'the surrounding surroundings'?
Suggestion: the surrounding surroundings
... its instincts isn't controlled by the surroundings around it rather than it's subconscious mind...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 231, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...out with her friends because her society , religion most of the time doesn't ...
^^
Line 7, column 283, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Additionally,
...most of the time doesn't allow it. Additionally she have to overcome a lot of barrier i...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 300, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'she' must be used with a third-person verb: 'has'.
Suggestion: has
...doesn't allow it. Additionally she have to overcome a lot of barrier if she wan...
^^^^
Line 7, column 317, Rule ID: A_LOT_OF_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun barrier seems to be countable; consider using: 'a lot of barriers'.
Suggestion: a lot of barriers
...w it. Additionally she have to overcome a lot of barrier if she wants to establish herself as an...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 386, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'woman'?
Suggestion: woman
... to establish herself as an independent women. When we were born, we had not face tho...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 423, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'faced'.
Suggestion: faced
...nt women. When we were born, we had not face those difficulties & thus were driven b...
^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['but', 'finally', 'if', 'likewise', 'look', 'may', 'moreover', 'so', 'thus', 'in contrast', 'on the other hand']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.2 0.240241500013 83% => OK
Verbs: 0.176377952756 0.157235817809 112% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0535433070866 0.0880659088768 61% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0425196850394 0.0497285424764 86% => OK
Pronouns: 0.103937007874 0.0444667217837 234% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.12125984252 0.12292977631 99% => OK
Participles: 0.0377952755906 0.0406280797675 93% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.98023218635 2.79330140395 107% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0220472440945 0.030933414821 71% => OK
Particles: 0.00472440944882 0.0016655270985 284% => Less particles wanted.
Determiners: 0.0740157480315 0.0997080785238 74% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0125984251969 0.0249443105267 51% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0188976377953 0.0148568991511 127% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 3102.0 2732.02544248 114% => OK
No of words: 522.0 452.878318584 115% => OK
Chars per words: 5.94252873563 6.0361032391 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77988695657 4.58838876751 104% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.325670498084 0.366273622748 89% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.250957854406 0.280924506359 89% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.197318007663 0.200843997647 98% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.153256704981 0.132149295362 116% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.98023218635 2.79330140395 107% => OK
Unique words: 257.0 219.290929204 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.492337164751 0.48968727796 101% => OK
Word variations: 58.3352162265 55.4138127331 105% => OK
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6194690265 97% => OK
Sentence length: 26.1 23.380412469 112% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.1566569243 59.4972553346 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 155.1 141.124799967 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.1 23.380412469 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.55 0.674092028746 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.94800884956 101% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.21349557522 192% => Correct essay format wanted or double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Readability: 51.1957854406 51.4728631049 99% => OK
Elegance: 1.11219512195 1.64882698954 67% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.152415510342 0.391690518653 39% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.111997184957 0.123202303941 91% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0779985179075 0.077325440228 101% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.524497870459 0.547984918172 96% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.179853245837 0.149214159877 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.05835325897 0.161403998019 36% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0416422551544 0.0892212321368 47% => The sentences are too close to each other.
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.325877914033 0.385218514788 85% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0588896151492 0.0692045440612 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0974323248295 0.275328986314 35% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0215035765287 0.0653680567796 33% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 10.4325221239 77% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 5.30420353982 151% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88274336283 82% => OK
Positive topic words: 8.0 7.22455752212 111% => OK
Negative topic words: 3.0 3.66592920354 82% => OK
Neutral topic words: 2.0 2.70907079646 74% => OK
Total topic words: 13.0 13.5995575221 96% => OK
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It is not right on the topic in the view of e-grader.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations to cover all aspects.