It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media.What do you think is the reason for the growth in the rate of juvenile crime?What solution can you offer to deal with this situation?

Submitted by maryam Karandish on Mon, 07/18/2016 - 00:44

Most of the times considerably the rising of the crimes, which is committed by teenager, are related to the violence of the media. I completely agree that the mass media focus on violent and sensational crimes and crime is one of the main subjects of most news programs. So we need to discuss the reasons and t
he effect of media on increasing the juvenile adequacies then the ways to prevent and solve this unpleasant situation.
It is obvious that media have increased the crime because of two main reasons. Firstly, teenager tends to have role models. So if their favorite role model involves in gangs or was criminal, they would have been negatively influenced by the role model and consequently might commit a crime. Secondly, media is one of the most important parts of our life which we spend most of our time with. If the media's content was violence, it would affect our behavior and we would become depressed or disappointed, as a result we might encourage committing crime to make our feeling better and reduce the depression.

The solutions which have resolved the massive raise of juvenile adequacies is to enforce observation on the children and pay attention to age limitations. Children should use the media under their parent's observation and they have to be allowed to watch some kind of films for instance. Furthermore, parents should pay attention to age limitation of some kind of movies in order to children especially teenagers deal with subjects which are appropriate for them.

In conclusion, most of the time people believe that violence in the media is an acceptable reason for rising of teenager crimes. In fact several reasons are known up to now, and media is one of the most discussable ones. We debate the effects and the ways to avoid the raise of the crimes above.

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Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
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IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS General Training
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Discourse Markers used:
['consequently', 'first', 'firstly', 'furthermore', 'if', 'second', 'secondly', 'so', 'then', 'for instance', 'in conclusion', 'in fact', 'kind of', 'as a result']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.264264264264 0.247107183377 107% => OK
Verbs: 0.153153153153 0.155533422707 98% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0660660660661 0.0946595960268 70% => OK
Adverbs: 0.039039039039 0.0501214627716 78% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0540540540541 0.0437548338989 124% => OK
Prepositions: 0.132132132132 0.122226691241 108% => OK
Participles: 0.033033033033 0.0403226058552 82% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.68625569694 2.80594681477 96% => OK
Infinitives: 0.039039039039 0.0326793684256 119% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.00163938923432 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.0960960960961 0.0861772015684 112% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.021021021021 0.021408717616 98% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.012012012012 0.011925033212 101% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 1806.0 1933.35771543 93% => OK
No of words: 309.0 316.048096192 98% => OK
Chars per words: 5.84466019417 6.12580529183 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.1926597562 4.20517956788 100% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.31715210356 0.374742101984 85% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.249190938511 0.28420135186 88% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.181229773463 0.203846283523 89% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.126213592233 0.137316102897 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68625569694 2.80594681477 96% => OK
Unique words: 161.0 176.037074148 91% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.521035598706 0.56093040696 93% => OK
Word variations: 53.236058534 60.7387585426 88% => OK
How many sentences: 14.0 16.0891783567 87% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0714285714 20.7743622355 106% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.7977727511 49.517814964 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 129.0 127.492653851 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0714285714 20.7743622355 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.0 0.814263465372 123% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38877755511 114% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 3.99599198397 0% => OK
Readability: 46.9905224226 49.1944974215 96% => OK
Elegance: 1.74390243902 1.69124875643 103% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.48041746202 0.332605444948 144% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.158019210577 0.102741220458 154% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0794240804175 0.0668466124924 119% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.624936462186 0.534860350844 117% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.181301204149 0.148594505496 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.226739286505 0.134430193775 169% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0974939791942 0.0742795772207 131% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.297970572545 0.324371583561 92% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0749098842151 0.0638462369009 117% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.335406515037 0.228012699653 147% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0673988895587 0.058150111329 116% => OK

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 8.68436873747 23% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.9879759519 226% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.41683366733 88% => OK
Positive topic words: 2.0 5.90881763527 34% => OK
Negative topic words: 8.0 2.5751503006 311% => OK
Neutral topic words: 2.0 1.9629258517 102% => OK
Total topic words: 12.0 10.4468937876 115% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.