Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely succeed. Write a response in which you discuss to what extent you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting y

Essay topics:

Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely succeed.

Write a response in which you discuss to what extent you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

Submitted by Phoebe on Thu, 10/06/2016 - 02:47

The responsibility of educational institutions is to equip students with critical thinking, ways of solving problems and the knowledge needed in a field. Schools or educators are not responsible for predicting if they will succeed in certain fields and shunning them from assumed failure. I disagree with the claim.

Very often, students choose a field for some particular reasons. Some students choose a field because of their interest. Some students choose a field because of their family background, say, their family business needs them to have knowledge of a certain field. These reasons are often the motivations which have a substantial impact on the achievement of students. Some students may be perceived lacking talent in a field; still, motived by their interest or objectives, they may put in a lot of efforts and hard work. As a result, they may surprisingly succeed in the field. Educational institutions therefore should not opinionatedly dissuade students from a field that they chose based on their own reasons.

Moreover, educational professionals may have a different understanding of “success.” They may define some particular achievements as successful, say, students in the education field to become professors. However, a student who majors in education maybe just want to teach kids and happy with that from the heart. In this case, if educators insist on persuading the students to change the field because he/she will unlikely become a professor. One sad outcome could be that this student would neither succeed in the new field nor happy in life. Hence, schools should not easily manipulate any student based on their subjective expectation and judgement.

One may argue that students may make wrong choices. Some students may later realize that they have chosen the wrong field and wish someone have told him. They have spent a great deal of money, time, and effort in a field; nevertheless, they are failures in the end. Unfortunately, this issue happens. However, the educational institutions cannot solve the problem by suggesting them to change the fields of study. There is no evidence for educators to precisely predict the future of a student. Students are very often judged by their performance at school. Yet, this is far from enough. Van Gogh had more than two thousand works though he only sold two of them in his lifetime. If schools had been responsible for the choice of students’ field of study, based on his performance, arcane past-impressionism style, he would definitely be convinced to stop painting. We would have lost a legacy. As we can see, school performance is not reliable, and schools are by no means able to anticipate the future of a student. Hence, educational institutions cannot help with the failure of a student result of choosing the wrong field of study.

In conclusion, educational experts do know more information in a field than students. They should well inform students the objective facts, such as their school performance, the trend of a field, and the like. Considering the subjective nature of judging one’s future, schools cannot predict certainly if a student will fail or succeed in a field. They therefore should not convince students to change fields of study based on what they think.

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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ed failure. I disagree with the claim. Very often, students choose a field for ...
^^^
Line 5, column 664, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r subjective expectation and judgement. One may argue that students may make wro...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 140, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'someone' must be used with a third-person verb: 'has'.
Suggestion: has
...chosen the wrong field and wish someone have told him. They have spent a great deal ...
^^^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...of choosing the wrong field of study. In conclusion, educational experts do kn...
^^^

Discourse Markers used:
['hence', 'however', 'if', 'may', 'moreover', 'nevertheless', 'so', 'still', 'therefore', 'well', 'in conclusion', 'such as', 'as a result']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.238952536825 0.240241500013 99% => OK
Verbs: 0.144026186579 0.157235817809 92% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0671031096563 0.0880659088768 76% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0572831423895 0.0497285424764 115% => OK
Pronouns: 0.050736497545 0.0444667217837 114% => OK
Prepositions: 0.127659574468 0.12292977631 104% => OK
Participles: 0.037643207856 0.0406280797675 93% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.99591805361 2.79330140395 107% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0163666121113 0.030933414821 53% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.0016655270985 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.103109656301 0.0997080785238 103% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.037643207856 0.0249443105267 151% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00490998363339 0.0148568991511 33% => Some subClauses wanted starting by 'Which, Who, What, Whom, Whose.....'

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 3300.0 2732.02544248 121% => OK
No of words: 531.0 452.878318584 117% => OK
Chars per words: 6.21468926554 6.0361032391 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.80035803286 4.58838876751 105% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.395480225989 0.366273622748 108% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.280602636535 0.280924506359 100% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.20527306968 0.200843997647 102% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.139359698682 0.132149295362 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.99591805361 2.79330140395 107% => OK
Unique words: 248.0 219.290929204 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.467043314501 0.48968727796 95% => OK
Word variations: 54.7928915122 55.4138127331 99% => OK
How many sentences: 32.0 20.6194690265 155% => OK
Sentence length: 16.59375 23.380412469 71% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.9151000326 59.4972553346 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.125 141.124799967 73% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.59375 23.380412469 71% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.40625 0.674092028746 60% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.94800884956 101% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.21349557522 77% => OK
Readability: 44.6540136535 51.4728631049 87% => OK
Elegance: 1.6038961039 1.64882698954 97% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.384316524139 0.391690518653 98% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0914289335906 0.123202303941 74% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.10729389164 0.077325440228 139% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.417805546841 0.547984918172 76% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.150110534023 0.149214159877 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.123196997631 0.161403998019 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0703617707958 0.0892212321368 79% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.394882337309 0.385218514788 103% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0679966953895 0.0692045440612 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.284129642115 0.275328986314 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0506581553417 0.0653680567796 77% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 10.4325221239 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 5.30420353982 245% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88274336283 143% => OK
Positive topic words: 10.0 7.22455752212 138% => OK
Negative topic words: 11.0 3.66592920354 300% => OK
Neutral topic words: 4.0 2.70907079646 148% => OK
Total topic words: 25.0 13.5995575221 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Could you give me some examples that are "not smooth" in my essay? So that I can see what I should work on.

I have read a lot of essays of other people, but I cannot really tell what I should work on because I cannot see my problems. Could you please use examples to point out for me? Thank you very much!!

'Smoothly' means the coherence in the essay. for example, the coherence between sentences and topics, paragraphs and topics, sentences and sentences...etc

Look:

Sentence topic coherence: 0.123196997631 0.161403998019 76% => OK //coherence between sentences and topics

Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0703617707958 0.0892212321368 79% => OK //coherence between sentences and sentences

they are not high in this essay.

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we don't have specific ideas how to improve this essay or other essays to reach 5.0. It is related to writing styles and language. How to improve the language is a big topic. but in our experiences, users from India will relatively get higher marks in GRE issue essays because their writing styles are more close to native English writers. So you may do more readings like articles in CNN, New York times...those articles are very professional and they should help a lot on language.

Sentence: Some students may be perceived lacking talent in a field; still, motived by their interest or objectives, they may put in a lot of efforts and hard work.
Error: motived Suggestion: motivated

Sentence: Educational institutions therefore should not opinionatedly dissuade students from a field that they chose based on their own reasons.
Error: opinionatedly Suggestion: No alternate word

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 33 15
No. of Words: 532 350
No. of Characters: 2661 1500
No. of Different Words: 243 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.803 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.002 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.821 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 188 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 143 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 98 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 63 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.121 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.409 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.576 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.288 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.436 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.142 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5