TPO-20 - Independent Writing Task
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Successful people try new things and take risks rather than only doing what they know how to do well.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
There is an argument about the way which leads to success. On the one hand, people tend to believe that trying new things and taking risks are the keys to success. On the other hand, a part of population claim that only doing a well-known and familiar activity person may succeed. Although I might understand the second viewpoint, I am prone to buttress the first one. The reasons on which my prospect is based will be discussed in details below.
Firstly, people who agree to risk and try something novel have more expertise, experience and knowledge. Of course, we all understand that education is important but textbook knowledge is quite limited. A human being who is not willing to try new things will not go beyond comfortable boundaries of known. By contrast, a risky person who is prepared to take risks and try novel will expand his frontiers of knowledge. It is needless to say that than more a person possesses expertise and knowledge, than more he is valuable and therefore successful.
Secondly, a risky person has some psychological traits which make him to be inclined to success. In other words, a tendency to risk and try new is usually accompanied by other characteristics such as a positive outlook at the world, trust to yourself and your friends, a desire to learn more, willingness to take responsibility. Those personal traits often go side by side and an average person who takes risks and tries new demonstrates the whole bunch of them. Consequently, this bouquet of characteristics allows a person to become successful. By contrast, traits which are associated with inclination to perform the same activity do not attributed to a successful person. In other words, we may conclude that psychological characteristics which motivate a person to like novel thing, risk doing something new lead the person to being successful.
Admittedly, there are some reasons which may allow a person to state that sticking to familiar and well-known activities is a way to success. Chiefly, my adversary may aver that by repeating the same actions over and over again a person refines them and makes less and less mistakes. However, I still affirm that the first stance leads to a failure. Today's world keeps changing and developing and a person who avoids learning new technology, concepts, activities will inevitably become inefficient and as a result unsuccessful; thus there is only one obvious path to success via openly and willingly embracing new and accepting risks.
To wrap up, people who are prone to take risks and try new have more expertise, knowledge and therefore they are more valuable and thus successful. Additionally to it, personal traits which motivate people to risk make them more inclined to success as well.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
'only doing what they know how to do well' is not equal to 'performs the same tasks over and over again'. It is somehow off the topic.
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 457 350
No. of Characters: 2236 1500
No. of Different Words: 217 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.624 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.893 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.8 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 153 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 116 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 89 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 58 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.773 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.897 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.682 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.311 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.514 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.128 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 443, Rule ID: WHOLE_LOT[1]
Message: Use simply 'bunch'.
Suggestion: bunch
...es risks and tries new demonstrates the whole bunch of them. Consequently, this bouquet of ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 270, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun mistakes is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
... person refines them and makes less and less mistakes. However, I still affirm that ...
^^^^
Line 9, column 149, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Additionally,
... are more valuable and thus successful. Additionally to it, personal traits which motivate p...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, first, firstly, however, look, may, second, secondly, so, still, therefore, thus, well, of course, such as, as a result, in other words, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 24.0 13.8261648746 174% => OK
Relative clauses : 21.0 11.0286738351 190% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 43.0788530466 65% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 52.1666666667 105% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2301.0 1977.66487455 116% => OK
No of words: 457.0 407.700716846 112% => OK
Chars per words: 5.03501094092 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62358717085 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.89797003096 2.67179642975 108% => OK
Unique words: 220.0 212.727598566 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.481400437637 0.524837075471 92% => OK
syllable_count: 713.7 618.680645161 115% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.994623655914 0% => OK
Article: 7.0 3.08781362007 227% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.9230500343 48.9658058833 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.590909091 100.406767564 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.7727272727 20.6045352989 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.86363636364 5.45110844103 144% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.170221453879 0.236089414692 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0574408823819 0.076458572812 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0464651785113 0.0737576698707 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.111367442018 0.150856017488 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0307007641977 0.0645574589148 48% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 11.7677419355 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 58.1214874552 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.95 10.9000537634 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.98 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 86.8835125448 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.