Sports stars and movie stars have an obligation to behave as role models for the young people who look up to them.in return for the millions of dollars that they are paid we should expect them to fulfill this societal responsibility.
The claim states that, celebrities like sports and movie stars should behave as role models for the young generation. That claim certainly have merit from the point of societal responsibility, and that is why I support that claim to the fullest. But at the same time, we should allow some provision for the celebrities, who do own a personal life. So, I think, celebrities should behave like role models for the young and at the same time, there need considerable freedom to lead a personal life of their own.
Sports stars and movie stars are the sensation for the generation from a very early period. In the present world of mass communication, every celebrities need to go through close scrutinity because of the proliferation of mass media. What a tv stars eats, drinks, watch, wear is always telecasted througout the world within a moment. So, that is why, celebrities should act responsively, as millions of eyes are watching them, following them, worshiping them. If a celebrity does a simple act, there are a lot of people will do the same thing without thinking about the acceptability of that task.
Sports stars do have a great impact on the people who regularly watch sports. A large section of the population of a society is comprised of young people who follow sports and movie celebrities. So, their act do have a profound impact on the young mind and consequently into the society. For example, Tiger Woods, a legend who dominated the golf course for a long time, was accused for some extramarrital relationship. When that type of news was reported for the first time, his followers were in some type of shock initially, but finally they overcome that shock. My point here is that, that personal act of an athelate eventually affected the mind of his followers, who thought that, if Woods can do that, why should not I? So, that is how, a reprehensible act can be copied by the followers and in the long time can hamper the society.
On the other hand, deep down inside, every celebrity do live a life of an individula who do cry, who do make mistakes, who do fall in love. So, focusing every aspects of a celebrity is harmful for not only his personal stabilty but also for the society. We need to discount the mistakes and should give some space to lead their personal life, otherwise we can not bring the fruit of inspirition from them by focusing every aspects of their life.
Our celebrities are the light bearer of our society, who inspires us to achieve a tough goal by reminding us about their history of struggle. At the same time, they show us the path to success, the path which should be followed to champion the obstracle. So, they need to fulfill their societal responsibilities by focusing their good acts, their success story. Similarly, they should be given some space to lead their own life, need to discount their mistakes in some cases.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 125, Rule ID: IS_COMPRISED_OF[1]
Message: Did you mean 'comprises' or 'consists of' or 'is composed of'?
Suggestion: comprises; consists of; is composed of
... section of the population of a society is comprised of young people who follow sports and movi...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 230, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ss, the path which should be followed to champion the obstracle. So, they need to...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, finally, first, if, similarly, so, for example, i think, in some cases, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.5258426966 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.4196629213 145% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 14.8657303371 74% => OK
Relative clauses : 24.0 11.3162921348 212% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 46.0 33.0505617978 139% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 58.6224719101 102% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 12.9106741573 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2374.0 2235.4752809 106% => OK
No of words: 503.0 442.535393258 114% => OK
Chars per words: 4.71968190855 5.05705443957 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.73578520332 4.55969084622 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67261453179 2.79657885939 96% => OK
Unique words: 231.0 215.323595506 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.459244532803 0.4932671777 93% => OK
syllable_count: 739.8 704.065955056 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 6.24550561798 240% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Interrogative: 8.0 0.740449438202 1080% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.99550561798 100% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.2370786517 114% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 25.5648476755 60.3974514979 42% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 103.217391304 118.986275619 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.8695652174 23.4991977007 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.95652173913 5.21951772744 95% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 10.2758426966 107% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.83258426966 145% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.292593351649 0.243740707755 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0916263743151 0.0831039109588 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0755959709412 0.0758088955206 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.166856642605 0.150359130593 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0703766398324 0.0667264976115 105% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 14.1392134831 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.8420337079 120% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.1743820225 85% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.1 12.1639044944 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.35 8.38706741573 88% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 100.480337079 85% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 11.8971910112 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.