The personality of individuals starts developing since the earliest months of their lives. Mostly, the early stages of life the child will be affected by his parents. However, as the individual grows and build up his character, the factors affecting the personality and thoughts of a person are much wider than just the parents or family, but they expand to include media and celebrities. So, I agree with the saying that the opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.
First, younger people have an immature personality. The way children and adolescents think would be still unstable and ranging with different circumstances and variable factors. Moreover, younger people can not take a clear decision and be certain and sure about it. On the other hand, older people would be more stable and they would know what they want, so they would not be very affected by what others think especially celebrities and famous entertainers, since older people would have already established their priorities. For example, when I was a teenager, I used to like a famous athlete that was so popular in my country. I started to copy that famous person, always listen to what he says, and I got affected by his personality. I even stated to like sports, which is not really what I usually prefer as a hobby. So, that athlete affected my personality in mostly all the aspects of my life, til a specific age, when I became more mature and I was able to define who I am and establish my own personality.
Second, younger individuals always try to fit in the crowd, whether this is at school, home or if they are working. As a result, famous celebrities that are already popular makes this easier on them. When a celebrity makes any comment and says his opinion, you see that most young people would start to think like that celebrity and even act like him. For example, I was finding some difficulty to be accepted in my new school that I moved to when we first came to the states. However, when I started coping the famous singer Britney spears in her opinions and her acts-regardless of what I think now about her- I became more popular and accepted. So, the opinions of the famous singer affected me as a teenager much more than it affected my parents or teachers for example.
As a conclusion, young people are the most ones affected by the opinions of celebrities and famous entertainers. So, those should be careful in what thoughts they deliver to young people because this would affect an entire generation, and thus may alter our future.
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- TPO-15 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age. Use specific reasons and examples to support your ans 76
- TPO-46 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.Use specific reasons and exam 76
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 130, Rule ID: FAMOUS_CELEBRITY[1]
Message: Use simply 'celebrities'.
Suggestion: celebrities
...me or if they are working. As a result, famous celebrities that are already popular makes this eas...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, may, moreover, really, second, so, still, thus, for example, i think, such as, as a result, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 24.0 13.8261648746 174% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 58.0 43.0788530466 135% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 52.1666666667 90% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalization wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2181.0 1977.66487455 110% => OK
No of words: 455.0 407.700716846 112% => OK
Chars per words: 4.79340659341 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61852021839 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67607666295 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 223.0 212.727598566 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.49010989011 0.524837075471 93% => OK
syllable_count: 688.5 618.680645161 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Interrogative: 4.0 0.994623655914 402% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.0968687886 48.9658058833 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.05 100.406767564 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.75 20.6045352989 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.7 5.45110844103 123% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.20447951558 0.236089414692 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0695257068471 0.076458572812 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.113344685537 0.0737576698707 154% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.13913868361 0.150856017488 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0668077803163 0.0645574589148 103% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.5 11.7677419355 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.8 10.9000537634 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.89 8.01818996416 98% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 86.8835125448 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.