TPO-40 - Independent Writing Task Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

For all humans, we need to do some work to earn some money to live. As for children, education is the first stage to become a person, who earns money. Some parents like to encourage their children to study hard to get good grades by giving them some money. In my opinion, giving money to school-age children is not a good idea. I feel this way for two min reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

To begin with, giving money to children for each high grade they get, does not encourage them to get high marks. When parents give them money, the children will think that they do not need to study hard, since they always get money from their parents and their parents are rich. This kind of attitude towards children may harm their education as well as their future life. My own experience is a good example of demonstrating this issue. When I was in my school age, my parents also gave me money for each higher grade. One day, when I was talking with my homeroom teacher, I told her about my parents giving money for each higher grade. Then my teacher explained to me the affect it can have on my future and education. From that day onward, I stopped taking money from my parents.

Secondly, there is a high risk of children becoming gambling addict when they grow up, in order to get more money. When parents give children money from the small age, children will have the habit to get more money. In order to do that, they will do gambling and other illegal stuff. For example, my school friend's parents also gave money to him for each higher grade. Unfortunately, he did not stop taking money from parents like me, and when he grew up, he became a gambler and he lost all his friends, parents and future because of it. So, it is not safe for children to deal with money, which can destroy their life and reputation.

In conclusion, it is not a good idea to give money to children for them to keep to encourage them to study hard, That is because children will neglect their studies and will go on wrong paths, such as gambling, which will destroy their lives.

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Average: 6 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 76, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'keep encouraging'.
Suggestion: keep encouraging
...a to give money to children for them to keep to encourage them to study hard, That is because chi...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 244, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...mbling, which will destroy their lives.
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, well, as for, for example, i feel, in conclusion, kind of, such as, as well as, in my opinion, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 56.0 43.0788530466 130% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 52.1666666667 96% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1700.0 1977.66487455 86% => OK
No of words: 384.0 407.700716846 94% => OK
Chars per words: 4.42708333333 4.8611393121 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.4267276788 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.17934989669 2.67179642975 82% => OK
Unique words: 171.0 212.727598566 80% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.4453125 0.524837075471 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 515.7 618.680645161 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Interrogative: 5.0 0.994623655914 503% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.1594717299 48.9658058833 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 85.0 100.406767564 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.2 20.6045352989 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.9 5.45110844103 145% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.345354453141 0.236089414692 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.130650767406 0.076458572812 171% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0751004766778 0.0737576698707 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.234798413893 0.150856017488 156% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0731035436565 0.0645574589148 113% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.0 11.7677419355 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 77.57 58.1214874552 133% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.2 10.1575268817 71% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 8.41 10.9000537634 77% => Coleman_liau_index is low.
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.31 8.01818996416 79% => Dale chall readability score is low.
difficult_words: 42.0 86.8835125448 48% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

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Try to use less pronouns (like 'It, I, They, We, You...') as the subject of a sentence.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.