Although advertising on television offers a number of benefits to businesses by incorporating sound, images, and movement to make the whole package interesting for consumers, I totally agree with the statement that television advertising directed towards young children aged two to five should not be allowed. Harmful effects on children and pressure on parents are the two main drawbacks of television advertisements targeting children.
Firstly, television advertising targeted towards young children can be bad for their body as well as a mind. Research shows that children under the age of eight are unable to critically comprehend televised advertising messages and persuasive intent in advertising and hence are prone to accept advertiser messages as truthful, accurate and unbiased. This can lead to unhealthy eating habits as evidenced by today's youth obesity epidemic. For example, the most common products marketed to children are sugared cereals, candies, sweets, sodas and snack foods. Such advertising of unhealthy food products to young children contributes to poor nutritional habits that may last a lifetime and be a variable in the current epidemic of obesity among kids. Another area of sensitive advertising content involves commercials for violent media products such as motion pictures and video games. Such advertisements contribute to a violent media culture which increases the likelihood of youngsters' aggressive behavior and desensitizes children to real-world violence. Therefore, such kinds of television commercials are not good for children’s physical and mental health.
Secondly, television commercial targeted to young children can put pressure on parents perching decisions and instigate parent-child conflicts when parents deny their children's requests. The research on children's commercial recall and product preferences confirms that advertising does typically get young consumers to buy their products. Children recall content from the television commercials to which they've been exposed and preference for a product has been shown to occur with as little as a single commercial exposure and strengthened with repeated exposures. The team of psychologists with expertise in child development, cognitive psychology, and social psychology also found that children under the age of eight lack the cognitive development to understand the persuasive intent of television advertising and are uniquely susceptible to advertising's influence. Hence, parents are forced to buy items like costly branded clothes, shoes, toys and many more things.
Finally, for all these above- mentioned reasons, I strongly recommend that television advertising targeting children aged two to five should be restricted. Policymakers need to take steps to better protect young children from exposure to advertising because of the inherent unfairness of advertising to audiences who lack the capability to evaluate biased sources of information found in television commercials.
- TPO-02 - Independent Writing TaskDo you agree or disagree with the following statement?Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship between people.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 70
- TPO-04 - Independent Writing TaskDo you agree or disagree with the following statement?In twenty years there will be fewer cars in use than there are today.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 83
- TPO-02 - Integrated Writing Task In many organizations, perhaps the best way to approach certain new projects is to assemble a group of people into a team. Having a team of people attack a project offers several advantages. First of all, a group of people 63
- TPO-09 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 83
- TOEFL Sample essay integrated essay from TPO 11 80
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
Although advertising on television offer...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ion advertisements targeting children. Firstly, television advertising targeted...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 415, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'todays'' or 'today's'?
Suggestion: todays'; today's
...unhealthy eating habits as evidenced by todays youth obesity epidemic. For example, th...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ren's physical and mental health. Secondly, television commercial targeted...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 411, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: they've
...rom the television commercials to which theyve been exposed and preference for a produ...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hes, shoes, toys and many more things. Finally, for all these above- mentioned ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, hence, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, well, for example, such as, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 13.0 43.0788530466 30% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 52.1666666667 115% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2575.0 1977.66487455 130% => OK
No of words: 434.0 407.700716846 106% => OK
Chars per words: 5.9331797235 4.8611393121 122% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56428161445 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.11065796155 2.67179642975 116% => OK
Unique words: 237.0 212.727598566 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.546082949309 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 793.8 618.680645161 128% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.51630824373 119% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 9.59856630824 31% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.994623655914 0% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.94265232975 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 67.8867874992 48.9658058833 139% => OK
Chars per sentence: 151.470588235 100.406767564 151% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.5294117647 20.6045352989 124% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.58823529412 5.45110844103 139% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 3.85842293907 259% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.268736745009 0.236089414692 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0953284212841 0.076458572812 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0820513079366 0.0737576698707 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.203749014766 0.150856017488 135% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0845904638042 0.0645574589148 131% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.3 11.7677419355 164% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 29.18 58.1214874552 50% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 13.0 6.10430107527 213% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.4 10.1575268817 152% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 17.41 10.9000537634 160% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.08 8.01818996416 126% => OK
difficult_words: 143.0 86.8835125448 165% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 16.0 10.002688172 160% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 10.247311828 156% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.