Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Young people enjoy life more than older people do.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Young people is person who has age more than 17-years-old until 27-years-old. In contrast, I state that older one is more than 28-years-old. As I know that range age of young people have many experience which happen once moment in life and become unforgettable. So, I agree with statement that young people is more enjoy they life freely than older one.
I think young people is more creative than older because they have fresh brain and can memorize every great moment. For example, I have 12-age brother who still sit in junior high school. He is very smart and adaptable. He spend his whole time for studying between school and courses and excersing in football team, becomes good keeper. Even though he is seldom in home, he can memorize all of my bestfriend well. Noted that I have 15 well-friends. Can you imagine that? i think he has excellent brain so he know the name of my friend although he just meet at once time. It is sursprising me.
Another reason from young people is they think more creative and up-to-date. I mean that creative in their own way. For instance, I have sister. She is very creative because I can see from her daily activity at home. She has ability for cooking but in different ingredient, especially for making cake. I know that basic ingredient to make cake is flour, egg and butter. But, as I see when she is cooking is she used substane ingredients. She change flour to corn flour and butter becomes olive oil. When the cake already served, the taste is very delicious, nothing different. Of course, it more healthy. I think that she try to find another way to make differences from another. It called creative.
In conclusion, I agree that young people is enjoying their life so they can enjoy their life more. enjoying comes from experinces that they get such as find better way to create something new and have great memory.
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- Integrated task 65
Sentence: So, I agree with statement that young people is more enjoy they life freely than older one.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to they and life
Sentence: He spend his whole time for studying between school and courses and excersing in football team, becomes good keeper.
Description: The fragment He spend his is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace spend with verb, past tense
Sentence: Can you imagine that? i think he has excellent brain so he know the name of my friend although he just meet at once time.
Description: The fragment he know the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace know with verb, past tense
Description: The fragment at once time is rare
Sentence: Another reason from young people is they think more creative and up-to-date.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to is and they
Sentence: She change flour to corn flour and butter becomes olive oil.
Description: The fragment She change flour is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace change with verb, past tense
Sentence: I think that she try to find another way to make differences from another.
Description: The fragment she try to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace try with verb, past tense
Sentence: He spend his whole time for studying between school and courses and excersing in football team, becomes good keeper.
Error: excersing Suggestion: ?
Sentence: It is sursprising me.
Error: sursprising Suggestion: surprising
Sentence: But, as I see when she is cooking is she used substane ingredients.
Error: substane Suggestion: substance
Sentence: In conclusion, I agree that young people is enjoying their life so they can enjoy their life more. enjoying comes from experinces that they get such as find better way to create something new and have great memory.
Error: experinces Suggestion: experiences
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
Avg. Sentence Length: 13.2 21.0
Need to remove a lot of repetitive words.
Need some arguments before the examples.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 18 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 330 350
No. of Characters: 1492 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.262 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.521 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.377 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 90 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 58 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 40 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 13.2 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.435 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.52 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.303 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.453 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.159 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5