A recently issued twenty-year study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia investigated the possible therapeutic effect of consuming salicylates. Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, food-processing companies also add salicylates to foods as preservatives. The twenty-year study found a correlation between the rise in the commercial use of salicylates and a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by study participants. At the time when the study concluded, food-processing companies had just discovered that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods, and, as a result, many companies plan to do so. Based on these study results, some health experts predict that residents of Mentia will suffer even fewer headaches in the future.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
A recently issued twenty-year study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia investigated the possible therapeutic effect of consuming salicylates. Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, food-processing companies also add salicylates to foods as preservatives. The twenty-year study found a correlation between the rise in the commercial use of salicylates and a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by study participants. At the time when the study concluded, food-processing companies had just discovered that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods, and, as a result, many companies plan to do so. Based on these study results, some health experts predict that residents of Mentia will suffer even fewer headaches in the future.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
The story concludes that Salicylates are member of same chemical family as asprin that there is a correlation between Salicylates and headache. Twenty -years study issued Mentia residents who suffered from headache, their headache decreased by the time consuming Salicylates. They investigate that, some food has naturally Salicylates, and also some food-processing company add Salicylates as a preservatives, and then they discovered that they can use salicylates as a flavor as well. And the they assumed that, Mentia's residents will suffer even fewer headaches in the future. However, his recommendations are based on insufficient information that, we need to find more information to decide whether salicylates will be helpful or not.
First of all, tthis twenty-year study was happened only in Mentia residents. There is no clue that what is the avarage headache decreased from past to today. Maybe it decrease only little amount maybe the difference is significant. If the author will give as actual numbers than we can say his recommendation is reasonable. On the other hand, to understand of the Salicylates help people to suffer from headache, we need another group of people who is not resident of Mentia. Because recent survey was happened only in Mentia which makes us thought are these Salicylates also good for other people or not. We can assume that maybe Mentia's resident immune system gets used to Salicylates and it will not be help to other people.
On the other hand, the author mentioned that, Salicylates are good for headaches, food-processing companies ass them as a preservative, even more they discovered they can add Salicylates as a flavor also. It sounds these much of Salicylates will create another problem. And this argument is far from showing us clear evidence that how much Salicylates help people to alleviate their headaches. Moreover, not all residents of Mentia has headache, also children can eat these foods as well. What will happen to other people who they don't suffer from headache. All we know that Asprin is one of the best invention in the history. However, if you consume too much asprin, it makes your blood thinner. And it will create further problems. As the argument says that Salicylates are same chemical family as aspirin, we need more information about, what will happen to those people who do not suffer from headache or children? What should be dosage of consuming Salicylates.
Finally, he asserted that, Mentia resident will have fewer headache in the future. This vague claim leaves us with many question that, how they assume they will have less headache? On the other hand how they did not investigate, these much of consuming Salicylates will create another problems, what are the side effects of Salicylates? How many participants did join their survey, all these questions need to be answered to make his recommendation is reasonable.
In conclusion, his assumptions are far from clear recommendations that he should find these real number, and request a survey, including more participants, and all around the city. He should seek what are the side effects of this Salicylates, what should be the maximum dosage for consuming. Aster all these information we can say that his
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Sentence: And the they assumed that, Mentia's residents will suffer even fewer headaches in the future.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by a pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to the and they
Sentence: On the other hand how they did not investigate, these much of consuming Salicylates will create another problems, what are the side effects of Salicylates?
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to another and problems
Sentence: Aster all these information we can say that his.
Description: A noun, singular, proper is not usually followed by a determiner/pronoun, pre-quantifier
Sentence: There is no clue that what is the avarage headache decreased from past to today.
Error: avarage Suggestion: average
flaws:
No. of Words: 712 350 (write the essay in half an hour)
'On the other hand' means However. It doesn't mean 'On another hand'
Introduction paragraph is too long.
3 paragraphs are good enough for essay body.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 37 15
No. of Words: 712 350
No. of Characters: 3619 1500
No. of Different Words: 265 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.166 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.083 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.898 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 255 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 184 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 146 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 103 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.243 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.339 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.378 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.281 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.447 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.149 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5