The following appeared in a recommendation from the president of Amburg's Chamber of Commerce.
"Last October the city of Belleville installed high-intensity lighting in its central business district, and vandalism there declined within a month. The city of Amburg has recently begun police patrols on bicycles in its business district, but the rate of vandalism there remains constant. We should install high-intensity lighting throughout Amburg, then, because doing so is a more effective way to combat crime. By reducing crime in this way, we can revitalize the declining neighborhoods in our city."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The president in his memo proposes the idea to install extra lighting around Amburg to fight vandalism and other crimes. One of the long-term aims is to restore neighborhoods which are declining. Although he presents some arguments to support this viewpoint, the memo indeed contains several logical flaws.
First of all, the author relies on the experience of the other city which is Belleville to show the success of this idea to provide light throughout Amburg. Otherwise, the memo does not present any details on Belleville and its level of vandalism and committed crimes. Perhaps high-intensity lighting was a fruitful step, because the number of crimes and vandalism acts was low and the whole situation in Belleville was under control. Without any additional information, we can also assume that the level of criminality in Amburg is higher, thus providing lighting will not be the only measure to reduce this level.
Moreover, the memo provides the information that after only a month the positive shift in the level of vandalism was shown in Belleville. In its turn, the city of Amburg has lately applied some steps to fight the current situation, thus we can conclude that more time is needed to see the progress. Moreover, more investigations need to be cared to extract more information on police patrols. First, it might be a good step to decrease the level of vandalism if the number of patrols and the area of their control are great.
Also, since the chief purpose of the president is to revitalize some declining districts of the city, we need to be sure that providing high-intensity lighting will help to improve those suburbs. Perhaps, the main problem is the lack of work places or the low level of education. Considering that, investments to opening new schools for children or plans will be a more effective way to restore these areas.
To sum up, based on the arguments provided in the essay, we cannot rely on the success of the idea to provide high-intensity lightening for reducing the level of vandalism and declining neighborhoods.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not complete
argument 2 -- not exactly
argument 3 -- OK
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Let's analyze the structure of the statement and argue accordingly:
Last October the city of Belleville installed high-intensity lighting in its central business district, and vandalism there declined within a month. The city of Amburg has recently begun police patrols on bicycles in its business district, but the rate of vandalism there remains constant. //maybe other reasons caused declined vandalism in Belleville; or maybe other reasons caused constant vandalism in Amburg ;
We should install high-intensity lighting throughout Amburg, then, because doing so is a more effective way to combat crime. //it works for A, but it doesn't mean it will work for B
By reducing crime in this way, we can revitalize the declining neighborhoods in our city.//your argument 3
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 345 350
No. of Characters: 1680 1500
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.31 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.87 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.744 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 115 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 94 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 64 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.633 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.533 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.341 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.585 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 523, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... assume that the level of criminality in Amburg is higher, thus providing lightin...
^^^
Line 9, column 202, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... vandalism and declining neighborhoods.
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, if, moreover, so, thus, first of all, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 55.5748502994 103% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1730.0 2260.96107784 77% => OK
No of words: 345.0 441.139720559 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.01449275362 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3097767484 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81533592349 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 181.0 204.123752495 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.524637681159 0.468620217663 112% => OK
syllable_count: 540.0 705.55239521 77% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 38.0130971582 57.8364921388 66% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.333333333 119.503703932 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.0 23.324526521 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.0 5.70786347227 70% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.177281117715 0.218282227539 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0574364010999 0.0743258471296 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0504741469053 0.0701772020484 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0958700829439 0.128457276422 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0311535712043 0.0628817314937 50% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 14.3799401198 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.07 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.76 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 98.500998004 88% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.