Some young children spend a great amount of their time practicing sports. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
At present, exercise should be considered in the life of people. Many times, we watch at television, news regarding problems with overweight in children which could be solved with exercise. However, not all the each day time should be dedicated to practicing it. Each moment of the children’s life deserves a right activity in order that children develop themselves correctly. Although children make exercise the majority of time brings about many benefits for them, it is true that doing this will bring many drawbacks as well.
First and foremost, health is an important issue to take care, especially for children and the elderly. One of the best things to improve our health is making exercises by practicing sports, for example. Thus, if our children dedicated a great quantity of their time to play some sport, this will help them to enhance the capacity of their lungs and stay healthier. However, dedicating the majority of time to practice sports will take them some essencial time, which they could dedicate to study. This activity is as important as practicing some sport in the development of children. Therefore it is necessary that they take similar time to practice sports than studying.
Secondly, many problems are generated by bad alimentation not only in children but in everyone. Thus, the consumption of many fats in children’s diet is prejudicial. Many cases of fat kids are shown by television, which are produced many times by consuming fast food. A mean to fight against fats is doing exercise, and in the case of children, by practicing sports. Children who usually playing some sport are fitter than others who have sedimentary life. This contribuits to maintain healthy and far from fats. But, fitness could bring about problems for female children in the future if it is not controlled by adults. It is known that in order to be skinny and fitness, they could make more exercise than they can support and also quit eating.
Last but not least, another topic which contribuits to the development of children is having a social life. Early children need to make interrelationship with kids of the same age in order to they could develop a friendly behavior. As we all know many sports are cooperative. By this way; by practicing sports, children can make good early friends who could help them to develop their capacity to communicate and prevent a future loneliness. Nevertheless, most of the time, the cooperative sports bring injuries for the players. Therefore, children could be injured during their practice of sports. To more time spent in practicing sport, there is more probability to be injured or hit.
In a nutshell, it is true that practicing sports is usually better than having a sedimentary life. But, personally I consider that the time which children dedicate to practice them should be limited to the necessary to be healthy and make good relationships. The rest should be invested in completing their correct development.
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Sentence: Thus, if our children dedicated a great quantity of their time to play some sport, this will help them to enhance the capacity of their lungs and stay healthier.
Description: The fragment children dedicated a is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace dedicated with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Sentence: Early children need to make interrelationship with kids of the same age in order to they could develop a friendly behavior.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to to and they
Sentence: Secondly, many problems are generated by bad alimentation not only in children but in everyone.
Error: alimentation Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: This contribuits to maintain healthy and far from fats.
Error: contribuits Suggestion: contributes
Sentence: Last but not least, another topic which contribuits to the development of children is having a social life.
Error: contribuits Suggestion: contribute
flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.966 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.499 7.5
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 26 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 29 15
No. of Words: 492 350
No. of Characters: 2416 1500
No. of Different Words: 216 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.71 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.911 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.674 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 166 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 132 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 104 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.966 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.499 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.586 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.29 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.459 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.101 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5