Flipping through the newspapers each day or even visiting the online newspapers site, there is a section all about sports. Christiano Ronaldo, who is a Portuguese national footballer earns over millions each year;Dato Lee Chong Wei from Malaysia who has won in many badminton tournaments has a lot of sports cars. It is a controversial question. Do they deserve to earn this vast amount of money compared to the people in other important professions?Some authorities think that this is unfair.
Doctors fufill their responsibility by saving many people’s lives, giving attentive treatments to patients and sacrificing their sleep to take care of their patients well. Teachers who have the patience shower their students with love and knowledge, making sure each of their students to be successful individuals in the future. Lawyers are the one who provide their clients legal advice to make sure their interests and rights are not jeopardized. These professions have high earnings by contributing to the society.
On the other hand, it is an undeniable and justified fact that athletes nowadays earn more than people in those noble professions. Sportsmen and sportswomen train themselves to keep fit and pay a lot of efforts in striving their best to win in the competitions or tournaments. Some of them have suffered pain and injuries due to excessive training and their passion in sports. Indulging in this sport careers, the atheletes undergo a lot of pressures, negative comments and scoldings from coaches, country and even media press. In order to succeed in the competitions and make their country proud, they who are sent to special training since young have to keep practicing to make sure they are well prepared in the competiton.
To sum up, I disagree to those who think it is unfair for successful sports professionals to earn more money than other professionals. The amount of money they gain depends fully on their efforts paid and their contributions to the countries even though sports aren’t the noble careers.
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Thanks a lot for your
Thanks a lot for your comments;)It's indeed a big encouragement to me. Is there anything for me to improve my writing besides the errors u have mentioned above?I mean i am weak in coherance of the essay.
Your essays are great. You
Your essays are great. You may submit more essays to see whether there are other flaws.
Sentence: In order to succeed in the competitions and make their country proud, they who are sent to special training since young have to keep practicing to make sure they are well prepared in the competiton.
Description: An adjective is not usually followed by a verb 'to have', uninflected present tense, infinitive or
Suggestion: Refer to young and have
Sentence: Doctors fufill their responsibility by saving many peoples lives, giving attentive treatments to patients and sacrificing their sleep to take care of their patients well.
Error: fufill Suggestion: fulfill
Sentence: Indulging in this sport careers, the atheletes undergo a lot of pressures, negative comments and scoldings from coaches, country and even media press.
Error: atheletes Suggestion: athletes
Sentence: In order to succeed in the competitions and make their country proud, they who are sent to special training since young have to keep practicing to make sure they are well prepared in the competiton.
Error: competiton Suggestion: competition
flaws:
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.045 0.07
Don't put a space before punctuation marks.
Always put a space after punctuation marks. E-rater is sensitive.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 8.0 out of 9
Category: Excellent Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 334 350
No. of Characters: 1669 1500
No. of Different Words: 190 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.275 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.997 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.798 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 111 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 90 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.267 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.28 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.267 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.308 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.523 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.045 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5