The following appeared in a memo from the director of a large group of hospitals.
"In a controlled laboratory study of liquid hand soaps, a concentrated solution of extra strength UltraClean hand soap produced a 40 percent greater reduction in harmful bacteria than did the liquid hand soaps currently used in our hospitals. During our recent test of regular-strength UltraClean with doctors, nurses, and visitors at our hospital in Worktown, the hospital reported significantly fewer cases of patient infection (a 20 percent reduction) than did any of the other hospitals in our group. The explanation for the 20 percent reduction in patient infections is the use of UltraClean soap."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The memo argues that their reduction rate in patient infections is due to their employment of UltraClean soap with the given data. This sounds convincing at first glance, however, with a closer examination, there could be a few other explanations of this reduction in percentage.
On explanation may be that the hospital in Worktown has used a variety of methods to disinfect patients, staff, and the environment there. For instance, the antibiotics they have given the patients may have been more effective than the ones they used in the past; the janitors of the hospital may be more careful in terms of cleaning the rooms and the surgery equipments, which can also lead into a lower infection rate. In this case, the use of UltraClean soap may just be a coincidence, and has no effect in the reduced rate of infections. Therefore, before, the adoption of the soap may not be the actual reason.
Besides, the hospital compared its number of infection cases with other hospitals in the group without taking the total amount of patients into consideration. Even though it shows a fewer a cases in comparison, this does not imply that role of UltraClean in it. The fewer cases may be a result of fewer paitents who needed surgeries in comparison to other hospitals. Whe the base is lower, there may be a lower occurrances of infections, which could also explain the reduction. On the contrary, other hospitals may accepted more patients and may have operated more surgeries on patients causing to have a bigger population to be prone to infections. As a result, hospital in Worktown’s infection reduction may be caused by a fewer patient population. Furthermore, another alternative reason could be that the other hospitals’ are less efficient in terms of cleaning up their surgery equipments and their surgery rooms, which will preserve more bacteria that may cause more infection cases. For instance if this is the case, the effect of the UltraClean soap is unclear.
As aforementioned, even though the hospital director’s argument sounds believable, it is far from valid. In order to strengthen the director’s point, it is indispensable to exam and to exclude these alternative reasons discussed above.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: On the contrary, other hospitals may accepted more patients and may have operated more surgeries on patients causing to have a bigger population to be prone to infections.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to may and accepted
Sentence: The fewer cases may be a result of fewer paitents who needed surgeries in comparison to other hospitals.
Error: paitents Suggestion: patients
Sentence: Whe the base is lower, there may be a lower occurrances of infections, which could also explain the reduction.
Error: occurrances Suggestion: occurrences
Sentence: Furthermore, another alternative reason could be that the other hospitals' are less efficient in terms of cleaning up their surgery equipments and their surgery rooms, which will preserve more bacteria that may cause more infection cases.
Error: equipments Suggestion: equipment
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK, but somehow duplicated to argument 1
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also need to argue:
In a controlled laboratory study of liquid hand soaps, a concentrated solution of extra strength UltraClean hand soap produced a 40 percent greater reduction in harmful bacteria than did the liquid hand soaps currently used in our hospitals.
like:
1. it is a controlled laboratory study.
2. 40 percent reduction in the bacteria population could be explained by the high concentration used. If the normal UltraClean is used instead then there could be no reduction in bacteria population.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 365 350
No. of Characters: 1796 1500
No. of Different Words: 165 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.371 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.921 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.8 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 118 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 97 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.812 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.876 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.339 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.533 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.073 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 189, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a case' or simply 'cases'?
Suggestion: a case; cases
...ideration. Even though it shows a fewer a cases in comparison, this does not imply that...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, first, furthermore, however, if, may, so, then, therefore, for instance, as a result, on the contrary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1871.0 2260.96107784 83% => OK
No of words: 365.0 441.139720559 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.12602739726 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.37092360658 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.05439029207 2.78398813304 110% => OK
Unique words: 178.0 204.123752495 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.487671232877 0.468620217663 104% => OK
syllable_count: 590.4 705.55239521 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.8120281629 57.8364921388 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.9375 119.503703932 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.8125 23.324526521 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.25 5.70786347227 127% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0711187817604 0.218282227539 33% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0340982845432 0.0743258471296 46% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0296790636286 0.0701772020484 42% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0590565612599 0.128457276422 46% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0264316214703 0.0628817314937 42% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.1 14.3799401198 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.77 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.75 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 98.500998004 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.