In som countries, children are overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should be responsible for this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essay topics:

In som countries, children are overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should be responsible for this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the modern life nowadays, the number of fat and weak children is increasing rapidly. I agree with the idea that the government should be responsible for this issue.
The first reason, the government does not controll the quantity and quality of the products in the market. There are many kinds of fast food which are selling such as snacks, hamburgers, fried potatoes and so on. Those content a lot of ingredients. Children really like to it those kind of food. As the result, the more they eat them, the faster and unheather they are. Because of this, the government should have duties in solving this problem.
The second reason, the government should care for this because children are the future of the country. A country can not develop well if its residents are obese and not strong. The children often have sedentary lifestyle which harm to their health. They fell lazy, slowly, just stay at home and not spend enough time on outdoor activities. This will become really serious if they still like this when they are mature. In this case, the country want to develop, the government should make an action immediately to slove this.
In conclusion, the government should care for the children and help them grow up in a strong and healthy way to make the country developed.

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Average: 5.6 (1 vote)
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IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 132, Rule ID: MANY_KINDS_OF[1]
Message: Did you mean 'fasts'?
Suggestion: fasts
... in the market. There are many kinds of fast food which are selling such as snacks, ...
^^^^
Line 2, column 277, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this kind' or 'those kinds'?
Suggestion: this kind; those kinds
...ingredients. Children really like to it those kind of food. As the result, the more they e...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 510, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rnment should make an action immediately to slove this. In conclusion, the gover...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, if, really, second, so, still, well, in conclusion, kind of, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 13.1623246493 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 7.85571142285 89% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 10.4138276553 77% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 7.30460921844 55% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 24.0651302605 91% => OK
Preposition: 25.0 41.998997996 60% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 6.0 8.3376753507 72% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1065.0 1615.20841683 66% => OK
No of words: 222.0 315.596192385 70% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.7972972973 5.12529762239 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.8600083453 4.20363070211 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.41834844884 2.80592935109 86% => OK
Unique words: 132.0 176.041082164 75% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.594594594595 0.561755894193 106% => OK
syllable_count: 316.8 506.74238477 63% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.60771543086 87% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 5.43587174349 74% => OK
Article: 13.0 2.52805611222 514% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 16.0721442886 93% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 20.2975951904 69% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 24.8426157148 49.4020404114 50% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 71.0 106.682146367 67% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.8 20.7667163134 71% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 7.06120827912 71% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.01903807615 60% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.67935871743 69% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.9879759519 125% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.4128256513 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.236465591417 0.244688304435 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0802996511479 0.084324248473 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0948858635448 0.0667982634062 142% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.16042041716 0.151304729494 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0621393660458 0.056905535591 109% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.6 13.0946893788 66% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 74.19 50.2224549098 148% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.4 11.3001002004 57% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 9.97 12.4159519038 80% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.25 8.58950901804 84% => OK
difficult_words: 41.0 78.4519038076 52% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 5.5 9.78957915832 56% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.1190380762 75% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.7795591182 74% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Minimum 250 words wanted.

Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.