Claim: Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive. Reason: It is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.
It is true that government must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need. In fact, the whole state and nation need that support. But, it would be wrong if we say that nation's cultural traditions are preserved primarily in major cities.
In rural areas, people are more inclined towards nation's culture, its traditions. In rural areas they are not influenced by any western culture. In India, there is a state called karnataka. In Karnataka, Mysore is a small city whereas Bengaluru is one of the major city and it is also called the sillicon valley. But, the traditions of the state,the cultural activites are performed in Mysore even though Bengaluru is the major city. Because, Mysore has been performing the cultural festival of the state since ages, according to this statement the nation should support financially only Mysore.
If rural areas are preserving then it doesn't mean that major cities are not contributing to the nation. Major cities are responsible for the nations relationships with the other nations. Major cities will help the nation to grow in terms of economic growth and employment, while rural areas will contribute to the nation in preserving the nation's rich cultural traditions attracting tourists from all over the world.
According to the above example, it can be inferred that, it doesn't matter whether the major cities or the rural areas are preserving the nation's cultural traditions, every city needs the government's financial aid in order to survive and improve the nation's economy.
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Comments
Sentence: Major cities are
Sentence: Major cities are responsible for the nations relationships with the other nations.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to nations and relationships
Sentence: But, the traditions of the state,the cultural activites are performed in Mysore even though Bengaluru is the major city.
Error: activites Suggestion: activities
Flaws:
No. of Words: 255 350
No. of Different Words: 130 200
(The first number is yours, while the second number is the ideal one)
First of all, try to put more words.
Total:
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 255 350
No. of Characters: 1272 1500
No. of Different Words: 130 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.996 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.988 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.561 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 89 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 65 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 48 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.615 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.21 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.538 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.388 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.591 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.181 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
please review this essay and let me know my mistakes.this is my first essay and need feedback to improve it.PlEASE HELP!!
Thank you