In this memo vice president of Alta Manufacturing recommends to shorten the three work shifts at Alta Manufacturing by one hour to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents. He also argues that by doing so the productivity will also be significantly improved as the employees will get adequate amounts of sleep. To support this recommendation he also points out that the nearby Panoply Industries where the work shifts are one hour shorter have reported thirty percent less on-the-job accidents. Finally, the manager cites that the Experts believe that a significant contributing factor in many on-the-job accidents is fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers. However, the argument relies on a series of unsubstantiated assumptions, which render it unconvincing as it stands.
In the first place, no evidence has been offered to support the assumption that the significant contributing factor in many on-the-job accidents is fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers. Lacking such detailed analysis of the reasons these on-the-job accidents happen, it would be foolish to attribute all of them to fatigue and sleep deprecation among the workers.
The author also assumes that the nearby Panoply Industries on-the-job accidents are thirty percent lesser do to the work shifts which are one hour shorter than Alta Manufacturing. However, there are many factors that could account for the lesser on-the-job accidents at the Panoply Industries , other than the mere fact that their work shift is one hour shorter than that of Alta Manufacturing . For example, the safety standards at Panoply Industries would have been significantly above par when compared with Alta manufacturing, the safety awareness among the employees can also have been one of the factors.
In the second place, the vice president cites that the reduction in the number of on-the-job accidents at Alta and will thereby increase productivity. However, the author provides absolutely no evidence that overall worker productivity is attributable in part to the number of on-the-job accidents. Although common sense informs me that such a relationship exists, the author must provide some evidence of this cause-and-effect relationship before I can accept the author's final conclusion that the proposed course of action would in fact increase Alta's productivity.
However, careful scrutiny of the evidence reveals that it provides little credible support for the author’s conclusion in several critical respects, and raises several skeptical questions. For example, the reduction of on-the-job accidents and its direct relation with increase in productivity, how will the author ensure that the workers will use the additional hour of free time to rest or to sleep, Without convincing answers to these questions, the reader is left with the impression that the claims made by the him are more of a wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence.
In conclusion, the argument that shortening of work shifts by one hour would reduce the on-the-job accidents and would in turn improve productivity is poorly supported and makes a number of questionable assumptions. To convince me that shorter work shifts would reduce Alta's on-the-job accident rate, the author must provide clear evidence that work-shift length is responsible for Alta's accidents. The author must also supply evidence to support his final conclusion that a lower accident rate would in fact increase overall worker productivity.
- The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Alta Manufacturing."During the past year, Alta Manufacturing had thirty percent more on-the-job accidents than nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Exper 69
- Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people. Recently, however, archa 37
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- better to argue like: maybe the accidents in Alta Manufacturing is not related to fatigue and sleep deprivation.
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- the topic didn't talk about productivity.
argument 4 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 478 350
No. of Characters: 2258 1500
No. of Different Words: 189 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.676 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.724 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.696 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 149 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 107 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.9 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.637 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.334 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.535 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.109 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 51, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'recommends shortening'.
Suggestion: recommends shortening
...mo vice president of Alta Manufacturing recommends to shorten the three work shifts at Alta Manufactu...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 292, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...-job accidents at the Panoply Industries , other than the mere fact that their wor...
^^
Line 6, column 393, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
... shorter than that of Alta Manufacturing . For example, the safety standards at Pa...
^^
Line 10, column 518, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'the' or 'him'?
Suggestion: the; him
... the impression that the claims made by the him are more of a wishful thinking rather t...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 382, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hat work-shift length is responsible for Altas accidents. The author must also su...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, second, so, for example, in conclusion, in fact, in the first place, in the second place
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 24.0 13.6137724551 176% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 28.8173652695 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 76.0 55.5748502994 137% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2964.0 2260.96107784 131% => OK
No of words: 533.0 441.139720559 121% => OK
Chars per words: 5.56097560976 5.12650576532 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.80487177365 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.02498750294 2.78398813304 109% => OK
Unique words: 230.0 204.123752495 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.431519699812 0.468620217663 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 920.7 705.55239521 130% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 29.0 22.8473053892 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 60.0166643525 57.8364921388 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 164.666666667 119.503703932 138% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.6111111111 23.324526521 127% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.11111111111 5.70786347227 125% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.317805602661 0.218282227539 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.11838968959 0.0743258471296 159% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.124031766868 0.0701772020484 177% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.166580604647 0.128457276422 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.110073576916 0.0628817314937 175% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.6 14.3799401198 136% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 33.58 48.3550499002 69% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.8 12.197005988 130% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.56 12.5979740519 124% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.54 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 117.0 98.500998004 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.1389221557 122% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 11.9071856287 134% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.