149.Imagine that you have received some land to use as you wish. How would you use this land? Use specific details to explain your answer.
Certainly, all of people have thought to such an important matters like owning a land or achieving some money. All in all, receiving some land as an asset will be gave fantastic feeling to everyone. This happening can completely change people’s lives. Probably, some people investigate on the land or build factory to become richer than others. On the other hand, the minority of society, including me prefer to use their land for improving the culture and education in their hometown. If I had received a land, I would have been blissfully happy to use it to help my flow-citizens. It seems to me, if I had such a land, I would prefer to build a zoo on that land. I am convinced that, making a zoo is the best choice, because in my motherland, Iran, there are a few zoos and building a zoo can be a good idea, also having zoo help people to be knowledgeable about animals.
Main reason for introducing the idea of building a zoo in received land is the scarcity of zoo in my country, Iran. Seemingly, there are a few zoos exist in Iran, and this issue poses a lot of problems for visitors who decided to visit a zoo. Definitely, traveling across the country for just visiting a zoo is not logical. Because taking part in such an action is very expensive and time consuming. Owing to, most of people give up the idea of visiting a zoo. As an example three years ago, when I was a High school student, our school's principal had decided to make a trip for visiting a zoo. All of students were interested in that trip and had amazing feeling due to experiencing something unusual and having the opportunity to visit extraordinary wild animals in the zoo. But, unfortunately that zoo was placed in a far city with more than hundreds kilometer distance from our hometown. As a result, most of students including me lost the chance of traveling and visiting zoo. Because our parents unanimously refused our request for participating on that trip. Finally, we lost the chance of visiting zoo and it had very ridiculous feeling. Therefore, I believe having a zoo in my motherland is one of the best services which I can offer to my people.
Second reason for developing a zoo in my land is to make familiar the people with animals and aware people about several species. Presumably, the majority of people do not know enough about wild animals. Almost, most of people either think wild animals are dangerous and will hurt them or think such animals are filthy. This thinks lead people to avoid touching or visiting wild animals. Furthermore, People unconsciously dislike them and if they visit one of them, will kill them. In the contrary, having a zoo in city motivates people to learn about types of creatures. In addition, people will be got familiar with animals behaviors. For example, last year I have stayed for eight months in New Jersey. On that time I know nothing about animals and I have troubled in treating them. While I was in New Jersey I went to zoo several times. Having several visits in zoo, I became one of the experts in treating animals and also I taught my friends how to deal with animals. Therefore, I am positive that, Building a zoo in that vacant land will be very useful for my society.
In my opinion building a zoo in empty land that is received to me is the best choice. Because, first, due to lack of zoo in my country and difficulty in traveling to another city. Second reason is providing opportunity for people to become aware about animals and their treatments and certainly knowing the ways of behaving animals. Each state need a zoo to maintain it‘s connection with nature and wild, also people will be influenced much more than television programs in respecting to wild.
Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
---|---|---|---|
2017-04-28 | ricardosoares90 | 60 | view |
- TOEFL integrated writing communal online encyclopedia 60
- tpo 16 integrated one 75
- saharDo you agree or disagree with the following statement? Business should do anything they can to make a profit. 82
- final version.....154.In some countries, people are no longer allowed to smoke in many public places and office buildings. Do you think this is a good rule or a bad rule? Use specific reasons and details to support your position. 68
- TOEFL integrated writing: The sea otter 70
Sentence: Second reason for developing a zoo in my land is to make familiar the people with animals and aware people about several species.
Description: The tag an adjective is not usually followed by the
Suggestion: is to make people familiar with animals
Sentence: Each state need a zoo to maintain its connection with nature and wild, also people will be influenced much more than television programs in respecting to wild.
Description: The fragment state need a is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace need with verb, past tense
flaws:
No. of Words: 660 350 (write the essay in half an hour)
Need to remove repetitive words or sentences.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 36 15
No. of Words: 660 350
No. of Characters: 2968 1500
No. of Different Words: 277 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.069 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.497 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.56 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 209 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 150 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 97 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.394 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.528 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.302 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.426 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.145 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5