38.The following appeared in a memo from the new vice president of Sartorian, a company that manufactures men's clothing.
"Five years ago, at a time when we had difficulties in obtaining reliable supplies of high quality wool fabric, we discontinued production of our alpaca overcoat. Now that we have a new fabric supplier, we should resume production. This coat should sell very well: since we have not offered an alpaca overcoat for five years and since our major competitor no longer makes an alpaca overcoat, there will be pent-up customer demand. Also, since the price of most types of clothing has increased in each of the past five years, customers should be willing to pay significantly higher prices for alpaca overcoats than they did five years ago, and our company profits will increase."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
Sartorian's new vice president presumes that by selling alpaca overcoats they will be able to thrive in the clothing market. On the other hand, the vice president's supporting details of his idea requires additional evidence. He/she should provide that the new fabric supplier indeed supplies high quality wool fabric sufficient enough to make the alpaca overcoat, and additional information about the market that the coat will sell well, and finally that price increase in other clothing means that customers are willing to pay a significantly higher price for the alpaca overcoats.
First of all, alpaca overcoats seem to require high quality wool fabric and the previous fabric supplier wasn't able to provide the quality needed so they got a new fabric supplier. However, there is lacking evidence that the new fabric supplier is qualified, and will be able to meet the demands of the company's quality for wool. For instance, although this new fabric supplier does supply the best possible quality of silk, they may have derogatory quality in other fabrics because they only concentrate on the production of silk. To further support this reasoning the vice president should send some people to the fabric supplier to check on their wool quality before deciding to produce the alpaca overcoats.
Next, the assumption that the coats will sell well doesn't sound logical enough. Even though the company has no competitor producing the alpaca overcoat and it has been 5 years since they competed in this market, maybe other companies has already developed a new kind of product that overshadows the quality and price of the alpaca overcoats during those years. In this case, the company's effort to sell alpaca overcoats will probably fail because customers are likely to purchase products from other companies that have replaced the alpaca overcoat. To further strengthen the vice president's argument, it needs additional information such as that some of the customers are still willing to buy alpaca overcoats.
Last but not least, the assertion that the increase in other clothing price will lead to the customer's willingness to pay for a much higher price for the alpaca overcoats doesn't seem sound. The augmentation in the price for other clothing may not be substantial compared to five years ago. For instance, a coat that was 100 dollars may have become 105 dollars which the increase in amount is just 5 dollars. If it is similar for all other clothing, it would not be logical to sell alpaca overcoats in a much highly incremented price because customers would expect similar or just slightly increased prices. Nevertheless, if there are some loyal customers to this product, alpaca overcoats may be still purchased by some people.
In conclusion there should be additional supporting evidence such as the wool quality surely meets the demand of the company to produce alpaca overcoats, consumers still favor buying alpaca overcoats instead of new types of clothing, and that the alpaca overcoats will indeed sell in a much higher price.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 500 350
No. of Characters: 2512 1500
No. of Different Words: 204 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.729 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.024 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.531 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 194 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 139 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 97 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 59 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.412 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.842 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.824 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.381 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.588 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.129 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 107, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wasn't
...fabric and the previous fabric supplier wasnt able to provide the quality needed so t...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 53, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ssumption that the coats will sell well doesnt sound logical enough. Even though the c...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 649, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...eds additional information such as that some of the customers are still willing to buy alpa...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 95, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'customers'' or 'customer's'?
Suggestion: customers'; customer's
...n other clothing price will lead to the customers willingness to pay for a much higher pr...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 173, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...h higher price for the alpaca overcoats doesnt seem sound. The augmentation in the pri...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, however, if, may, nevertheless, so, still, then, well, for instance, in conclusion, kind of, such as, first of all, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 55.5748502994 94% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2562.0 2260.96107784 113% => OK
No of words: 496.0 441.139720559 112% => OK
Chars per words: 5.16532258065 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.71922212354 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54990432453 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 204.123752495 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.433467741935 0.468620217663 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 789.3 705.55239521 112% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 29.0 22.8473053892 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 73.9861111066 57.8364921388 128% => OK
Chars per sentence: 150.705882353 119.503703932 126% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.1764705882 23.324526521 125% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.05882352941 5.70786347227 159% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.138566318616 0.218282227539 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0600231787879 0.0743258471296 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0424856814163 0.0701772020484 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0943538460765 0.128457276422 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0504848295156 0.0628817314937 80% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.5 14.3799401198 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.04 48.3550499002 87% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.197005988 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.3 12.5979740519 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.97 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 98.500998004 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.1389221557 122% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.