In the memorandum, the business manager of Happy Pancake House recommends keeping replacing butter by margarine in other restaurants of the chain. He claims that such a replacement will be very advantageous as it will increase the profitability by cutting the costs. However, unless certain questions are answered, this recommendation cannot be evaluated and, therefore, considered valid.
The first essential that needs to be answered is how long has Happy Pancake Factory been analyzing the customers’ reactions to the butter replacement? As the time period is not mentioned anywhere in the memorandum, it is entirely possible that it is equal to a couple of days or a few weeks. Undoubtedly, it is not enough to be able to make any conclusions based on it. Perhaps, the customers just have not paid attention to it or have not noticed unfavorable consequences of it yet. However, as time goes and news spreads, Happy Pancake House might decrease its number of customers instead of increasing its profitability. Therefore, in order to make the conclusion more valid, the author must prove that the time period of customer reaction research was sensible.
The second question that must be answered is has any research been conducted in order to see if the preferences of the people from other parts of the USA are the same? Without a positive answer, the argument is untenable as it stands. The United States of America is a large and diverse country with different people who, of course, have different likes and dislikes. The fact that for the southwestern citizens butter replacement went unnoticeable does not guarantee that it will be this way throughout the country. Only after careful and detailed study, the business manager can give any recommendations.
The third question to be asked is how much cheaper is margarine? If the difference in price turns out to be neglectable, then the cost-saving effect will be exaggerated. Such a change could, in fact, result in more expense for the company, for example, by searching for a new provisioner, organizing the negotiations and other transactional costs.
Finally, is there any data available on the average number of customers per day which shows that the number stayed the same or rose after switching to margarine? In other to draw conclusions that could be trusted we need statistics of Happy Pancake House daily customers. It could be the case that even though 98 percent of them did not complain, they stopped eating at the restaurant at all after noticing the change. As a consequence, fewer customers would amount for fewer sales and, therefore, fewer profits, unlike the predicted outcomes. In order to bolster his argument, the author must answer positively to the above-mentioned question and provide the supporting numbers.
In the final analysis, the recommendation of the business manager is unconvincing as it stands since there is certain information lacking. In order to bolster his argument, he must answer the above-named questions in such a manner that would support his conclusion. Moreover, those answers can only be considered material if they are based on statistics and research.
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Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 514 350
No. of Characters: 2586 1500
No. of Different Words: 254 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.761 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.031 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.898 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 185 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 149 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 108 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 75 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.56 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.292 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.48 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.25 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.493 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.057 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 11, column 140, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...e there is certain information lacking. In order to bolster his argument, he must ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, however, if, moreover, second, so, then, therefore, third, for example, in fact, of course
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 19.6327345309 158% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 28.8173652695 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 62.0 55.5748502994 112% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2669.0 2260.96107784 118% => OK
No of words: 514.0 441.139720559 117% => OK
Chars per words: 5.19260700389 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.76146701107 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.02995999019 2.78398813304 109% => OK
Unique words: 264.0 204.123752495 129% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.513618677043 0.468620217663 110% => OK
syllable_count: 845.1 705.55239521 120% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.22255489022 237% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 29.2138597245 57.8364921388 51% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 106.76 119.503703932 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.56 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.44 5.70786347227 78% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.20758483034 183% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.219725359888 0.218282227539 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0589338290778 0.0743258471296 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0832279529811 0.0701772020484 119% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.108268566087 0.128457276422 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0669302583335 0.0628817314937 106% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.82 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.47 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 125.0 98.500998004 127% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 12.3882235529 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.