Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic regions. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of the year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the purported decline in deer populations is the result of the deer's being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author is explaining the reseaons he belives the deer populations has declined, and claims that the reasons behind this decline are because of their inability to mobile over ice formation between the iclands. Howevert, his conclusion relies on assumptions for which there is no clear evidence and therefore the argument is flawed.
First, the auther’s only evidence for the deer population decline is based on the hunters’ reports. However, this is not suffecient evidence to lead to such deduction. Perhaps, the auther could use the help of expert zoologists and wide team of researchers to have stronger and more objective evaluation of these changes. Also, the author could support his position with evidence of other reports about deer populations in the same area.
Moreover, if such reports turned to be true, the author never cites evidence to support his position that the decrease in deers’ number is due to the ice melting. If the author has shown data of currnet studies about environmental changes in the arctic area, including ice melting between the islands, then it would strengthen the link between the two variables.
Finally, the author is not excluding other factors, which can lead to decline in deer populations. Perhaps the deer populations are extincting due to the global warmimng and environmental changes. Maybe, seeing less deers is because of their movement to an intirely different and colder areas and not nesecceraly due to limitation of movement. If either of these scenarios has merit, then the conclusion drawn in the original argument is significantly weakened.
In conclusion, the argument as it currently stands is flawed due to its relience on several unwarranted assumptions. IF the author is able to offer more evidence, perhaps in the form of a systematic study, then it would be possible to fully evaluate the viablity of the proposed conclusion that the decrease in deers is due to to their inability to migrate across the frozen sea. Unless additional evidence is provided, the readers of this passage should find it unpersuasive.
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| 2023-07-17 | okazaki11 | 72 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 337 350
No. of Characters: 1703 1500
No. of Different Words: 171 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.285 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.053 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.716 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 132 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 106 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 71 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.467 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.486 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.342 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.588 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.067 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
The author is explaining the reseaons he...
^^^^
Line 7, column 369, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hen the link between the two variables. Finally, the author is not excluding oth...
^^^^
Line 9, column 212, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun deers is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...nd environmental changes. Maybe, seeing less deers is because of their movement to a...
^^^^
Line 11, column 325, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: to
...usion that the decrease in deers is due to to their inability to migrate across the f...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, however, if, may, moreover, so, then, therefore, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 55.5748502994 88% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1777.0 2260.96107784 79% => OK
No of words: 337.0 441.139720559 76% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.27299703264 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.28457229495 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.87848817255 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 178.0 204.123752495 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.528189910979 0.468620217663 113% => OK
syllable_count: 557.1 705.55239521 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.5775532118 57.8364921388 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.466666667 119.503703932 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.4666666667 23.324526521 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.6 5.70786347227 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0984956885779 0.218282227539 45% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.032150211419 0.0743258471296 43% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0264859827936 0.0701772020484 38% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0586244900075 0.128457276422 46% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0240381106095 0.0628817314937 38% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 14.3799401198 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 48.3550499002 84% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.58 12.5979740519 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.37 8.32208582834 113% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 98.500998004 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.