The city of Winston has two large department stores: Namen and Roscoe. Namen is known for its high-end designer fashions, while Roscoe is known for more affordable fashion options. Both Namen and Roscoe are each considering opening another store in the gr

Essay topics:

The city of Winston has two large department stores: Namen and Roscoe. Namen is known for its high-end designer fashions, while Roscoe is known for more affordable fashion options. Both Namen and Roscoe are each considering opening another store in the growing suburb of Salem, where the population has grown over 50% in the last three years and where the median income is $75,000. Namen’s executives argue that as population and median income increase, people are willing to spend more money on clothing. However, Roscoe’s executives believe that the suburbs are more family oriented, and therefore their store will be more profitable than their competitor Namen.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

In this argument, the two executives both believe that their own corporation will be more successful than another's in expanding their businesses in the suburb of Salem. However, both their conclusions are entirely based on logically unconvincing assumptions. Without providing further evidence, the writer's statement itself is unpersuasive and unwarranted.

First of all, Namen's executives hold an idea that given that the population and median income of the suburb, the citizen will spend more money on clothing. However, from the statement, we can only know the population in the suburb of Salem has grown more than 50% in the last three years and the median income of it is $75,000. Actually, we can't be sure if the $75,000 income or the 50% increase of population is relatively high or low in this nation. Since we don't have comparisons between other suburbs, we cannot conclude whether people will buy luxury goods by observing these descriptive statistics.

Similarly, Roscoe's executives leap to the conclusion without giving adequate explanations. They believe the suburbs are more family oriented so people in there are willing to buy more clothes from their company than the Namen's. How can the Roscoe's concludes the people in the suburbs are more family oriented? Did they come up with the idea with a detailed self-made survey? Or did they consult with a research firm? Even if the suburb is indeed a family oriented place, will the people buy cheaper clothes instead? Or are the people tend to purchase luxurious clothing to make their family members feel respectful?

To sum up, those executives lack credibility to conclude that their corporation will be the winner in the expansion. And I believe the two company's executives should present more convincing evidence regarding the issues discussed above to support their conclusion.

Votes
Average: 1.6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 43, Rule ID: BELIEVE_BELIEF[1]
Message: Did you mean 'belief' (noun) instead of believe (verb)?
Suggestion: belief
... this argument, the two executives both believe that their own corporation will be more...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 300, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'writers'' or 'writer's'?
Suggestion: writers'; writer's
...Without providing further evidence, the writers statement itself is unpersuasive and un...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 340, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...ian income of it is 5,000. Actually, we cant be sure if the 5,000 income or the 50% ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 458, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...ly high or low in this nation. Since we dont have comparisons between other suburbs,...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, first, however, if, regarding, similarly, so, first of all, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.6327345309 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 13.6137724551 29% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 55.5748502994 68% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1560.0 2260.96107784 69% => OK
No of words: 297.0 441.139720559 67% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.25252525253 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.15134772569 4.56307096286 91% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75366948694 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 167.0 204.123752495 82% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.56228956229 0.468620217663 120% => OK
syllable_count: 490.5 705.55239521 70% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 36.7261295776 57.8364921388 63% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.5 119.503703932 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.5625 23.324526521 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.9375 5.70786347227 87% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0754697455112 0.218282227539 35% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0263152167538 0.0743258471296 35% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0290891614809 0.0701772020484 41% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.044742183746 0.128457276422 35% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0115045284579 0.0628817314937 18% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 44.75 48.3550499002 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.17 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.46 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 98.500998004 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.