The following appeared in an article in the Grandview Beacon. "For many years the city of Grandview has provided annual funding for the Grandview Symphony. Last year, however, private contributions to the symphony increased by 200 percent and attendance at the symphony's concerts-in-the-park series doubled. The symphony has also announced an increase in ticket prices for next year. Given such developments, some city commissioners argue that the symphony can now be fully self-supporting, and they recommend that funding for the symphony be eliminated from next year's budget." Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The argument proposes the funding of the Grandview Symphony should be scotched starting the following year due to the donations made by the private sector having doubled and also concurrent with increased attendance to the symphony. Furthermore it specifies the increased prices of tickets for the following year would be doubled and attributes this as additional reason to cease the funding by the city for the following year’s budget.
The author is unclear about the reasons as to why the Grandview concert required funding in the first place and how a temporary surge in contributions could make the symphony self-sustainable. There are no cogent reasons mentioned that would indicate the need to cease funding by the government. Simply because the funds raised from the private sector has doubled does not imply that the accumulated fund is prodigious, it could be that private contributions at preceding years were little and so doubling that may not necessarily accrue to a large sum.
Also the attendance having doubled could occur as a result of different temporary and coincidental occurrences, perhaps as a result of the symphony taking place during the holiday, which would probe more attendees since most of the people are less busy and free to jubilate the season. There should be a fastidious investigation done into the surrounding factors that lead to the success of the event in the year with certified professionals providing proper accounts of the symphony and the city should heed to their advice as to whether or not the event would be a success the following year if the government decides to pull out.
Furthermore, the city commissioner’s conclusion to stop funding based on the assumption that the symphony would be self-supporting is not convincing. There is no definitive evidence providing insight into the auspicious turnout of the event the following year if the government stanches funding, instead the increased ticket cost would likely cause a reduction in the attendance that would be detrimental to the longevity of the Grandview symphony. There is no estimate regarding the popularity of the event and the attendance at the event the previous year, if there was a large turnout and as the author mentioned the attendance doubled the present year then the future looks bright, but if the turnout was little, doubling that may not exactly adumbrate a profitable turnout, as such there should be proper inquiry into these missing details before a final decision is made.
And if the Grandview symphony is indeed a promising event that has picked up sales and is flourishing with glimpses of a bright future, the author should address other options that could lead to better outcomes. Perhaps it would then be beneficial to the government to aid and invest in such an event that could help attract tourists and gain popularity that could act as a source of revenue for the city.
The government should consult the appropriate expertise to comprehend the current standing of the event and also inquire into the budget to understand exactly how much progress has been made and whether or not it is sufficient for the sustenance of the Grandview symphony without being sponsored by the Grandview city, keeping in mind its potential of being a source that could generate revenue for the city.
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not OK
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flaws:
Don't need two paragraphs for the conclusion (the fifth and sixth paragraph). One paragraph is enough.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 546 350
No. of Characters: 2747 1500
No. of Different Words: 234 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.834 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.031 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.789 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 206 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 160 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 109 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 79 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 42 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.923 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.407 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.705 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.117 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5