The following appeared in a memo from the president of Bower Builders, a company that constructs new homes.
"A nationwide survey reveals that the two most-desired home features are a large family room and a large, well-appointed kitchen. A number of homes in our area built by our competitor Domus Construction have such features and have sold much faster and at significantly higher prices than the national average. To boost sales and profits, we should increase the size of the family rooms and kitchens in all the homes we build and should make state-of-the-art kitchens a standard feature. Moreover, our larger family rooms and kitchens can come at the expense of the dining room, since many of our recent buyers say they do not need a separate dining room for family meals."
The president of Bower companies claims that to increase the number of sales made to his houses, he should increase the size of kitchen's and bedrooms that is been produced by the company. He also backs this claim by referring to a competitor that employed a similar action and this lead to a better yield in sales. Also he states that recent buyers have said that they don't need separate dinning rooms. With the paragraphs below, i will devolve into reasons i find this argument fallacious.
Firstly, the writer claims that following the same procedure that his competitor did will yield a similar result is wrong. As he is only allowed to take another company as a model if the company is completely the same with his. Perhaps its possible that they are other fixtures that attracted them to Domus construction. Like maybe their advertisements are better or there building are stronger and more ornate than that of Bower builders. He should consider this factors and make sure that the status of Domus is completely the same with his, further more ensuring that he provides facts that the reason behind the high sales of house by Domus is due to their size of kitchens and large family rooms. This would make his argument more compelling.
Secondly, the writer claims that increasing the sizes of kitchen and family rooms would lead to increase in room sales, however, he fails to state the current situation of his rooms and provide facts that individuals that actually rejected buying his rooms claim it was due to the lack of the aforementioned. Hence he needs to perform a survey asking people why they dont have interest in buying the houses his company is building. as this would make his argument more convincing.
Thirdly, he claims that he asked prospective buyers what they taught about what the idea of shifting the dinner room to join up with the living room and wants to use the results he got as reason to make a permanent change to his new format of housing. A decision like this should be based on not only prospective buyers but also people who have so much dislike for the current form of the company houses and also ask them what they feel on this decision to be made. This would enhance his claim.
Lastly, he concludes that an increase in kitchen size and family rooms would lead to a significant increase in sales. However, he fails to back this claims would legitimate facts. He has to provide sure proves by maybe asking people what he need to do to make his houses better. It could be done by asking people that previously bought the house or maybe people that came and rejected the houses due to not been satisfied with what the saw. Without this provided, his argument remains wanting.
- The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of Butler Manufacturing."During the past year, workers at Butler Manufacturing reported 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than workers at nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one 60
- The following appeared in a memo from the president of Bower Builders, a company that constructs new homes."A nationwide survey reveals that the two most-desired home features are a large family room and a large, well-appointed kitchen. A number of homes 70
- The following appeared in an article in the Grandview Beacon For many years the city of Grandview has provided annual funding for the Grandview Symphony Last year however private contributions to the symphony increased by 200 percent and attendance at the 85
He should consider this factors
He should consider these factors
that is been produced by the company.
that has been produced by the company.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 479 350
No. of Characters: 2201 1500
No. of Different Words: 214 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.678 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.595 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.312 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 147 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 94 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.95 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.891 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.331 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.51 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.196 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5