The following appeared in an article in the Grandview Beacon."For many years the city of Grandview has provided annual funding for the Grandview Symphony. Last year, however, private contributions to the symphony increased by 200 percent and attendance at

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The following appeared in an article in the Grandview Beacon.
"For many years the city of Grandview has provided annual funding for the Grandview Symphony. Last year, however, private contributions to the symphony increased by 200 percent and attendance at the symphony's concerts-in-the-park series doubled. The symphony has also announced an increase in ticket prices for next year. Given such developments, some city commissioners argue that the symphony can now be fully self-supporting, and they recommend that funding for the symphony be eliminated from next year's budget."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

Some city commissioners conclude that next year’s budget should not include funding for the Grandview symphony as they aree of the opinion that it is self sufficient. They assert their contention by citing the fact that private funding as well as attendance increased from previous years and there is an expected increase in ticket prices. Whilst this argument may seem plausible at first glance, closer inspection reveals that it suffers from lack of quantification and is based on assumptions.

Firstly, the commissioners’ argument suffers from lack of quantification as information about the costs of tickets and funds raised are not provided. The commissioners’ assume that because there was an increase in funding as well as an increase in attendees, that this will be enough money to fund the costs of the Symphony. Howver one must ask how much does it cost to organize the event and will the increase in funding and attendance be enough to cover this cost? To strengthen the argument the commissioners must provide information that suggests that this is the case.

Secondly, the argument rests on the assumption that last year’s fortune will carry over to this year’s event. Will private entities be as generous as they were last year? Will there be as many people attending the event? Is the event held in the same location as last year’s? These are important questions that need to be addressed. If this is in fact not the case it may not be a wise choice to eliminate their funding from the budget. Even if one was absolutely certain that this year will be similar to the last, there is no information as to how much it would cost to organize the event in the first place (as already stated). Thus to strengthen the argument one must oprovide evidence that this year’s conditions are expected to be similar to that of the previous year.

Lastly, the commissioners assume that people will buy tickets in the first place. Even if ticket prices are expected to increase that does not mean that people will be willing to buy them. In fact, wouldn’t the increase in tickets lead to a decrease in sales as people will be less likely to pay extra? Once again more information about the situation is necessary. To strengthen the argument one will have to provide evidence that despite the increase in ticket sales, people will still be willing to purchase tickets and even with this evidence predictions about the future can never be certain.

In conclusion there is not enough evidence to support a claim as bold as that made by the commissioners as many questions still remain. Unless these questions can be adequately addressed the proposition seems more of wishful thinking than something that can be put into effect. One must have knowledge of all aspects of a situation before statements can be made.

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Comments

Sentence: Thus to strengthen the argument one must oprovide evidence that this year's conditions are expected to be similar to that of the previous year.
Error: oprovide Suggestion: provide

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argument 1 -- OK

argument 2 -- OK

argument 3 -- OK
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flaws:
Need to put the argument 2 to argument 3, while put the argument 3 to argument 2.

follow this order:

condition 1:
Last year, however, private contributions to the symphony increased by 200 percent and attendance at the symphony's concerts-in-the-park series doubled.

condition 2:
The symphony has also announced an increase in ticket prices for next year.

conclusion:
Given such developments, some city commissioners argue that the symphony can now be fully self-supporting, and they recommend that funding for the symphony be eliminated from next year's budget.

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 480 350
No. of Characters: 2290 1500
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Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.681 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.771 4.6
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No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.818 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.714 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.591 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.298 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.53 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.105 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5