The following appeared in the City Council Proceedings section of the local newspaper in Smithville:
"The city council of Smithville has instituted changes to police procedures to improve the visibility of the police force. These changes require that the town hire more police officers, budget more funds for police overtime, and direct officers to patrol significantly more often on foot rather than from their cars. These improvements in visibility will significantly lower the crime rate in Smithville and make its citizens feel safer"
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered to decide how likely the stated recommendation is to yield the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The argument that improving the police visibility by employing more police officer, increasing the overtime fund and making police officers to patrol on their foot would decrease crime rate and people feel safe is at first glance plausible. However, the assumption is flawed since the evidences are not clear and there are undefined terms.
First, the author assumes that by improving the visibility of police officer s the crime rate would drop. In fact, the author did not mention the main cause of the crimes in the city. The cause of crime might be because of other reasons such as police officer corruption or the high poverty rate. Therefore, hiring more police officer might not decrease the crime rate because their might enough corrupted police officer. For example, in Brazil, there are many police officer but because criminal can bribe police officers, the crime in the country are increasing and increasing the visibility of the police officer would not result in lowering the crime rate.
Additionally, the author states that increasing the fund for overtime would help increasing the visibility of police officer. Nevertheless, are there many police officers taking overtime? What if there are few police officers taking overtime and thus correlating the visibility with overtime budget is incorrect. Furthermore, the writer assumes that police officers patrolling in their foot would more visible than patrolling with cop cars. In this assumption the meaning of visibility is not clear because using car make police officer more visible to criminal. In addition, even if the police officer would the police officer would be visible on their foot, would they be in danger and possibly be an easy target to criminal. Therefore, the writer should consider the safety of the police officer.
In conclusion, if the cause of the crime in the city is not because the police officers are less visible, then the argument will be wrong. The author should elaborate of the cause of crime in city and defined the term visible as well as providing more clear evidence that the new changes will reduce overall crime rate.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- need to argue: '...and make its citizens feel safer'
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 348 350
No. of Characters: 1741 1500
No. of Different Words: 138 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.319 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.003 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.373 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 135 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 90 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.613 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.875 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.427 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.587 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.181 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 82, Rule ID: ADVISE_VBG[5]
Message: The verb 'help' is used with infinitive: 'to increase' or 'increase'.
Suggestion: to increase; increase
...easing the fund for overtime would help increasing the visibility of police officer. Never...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, however, if, nevertheless, so, then, therefore, thus, well, for example, in addition, in conclusion, in fact, such as, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 11.0 28.8173652695 38% => OK
Preposition: 34.0 55.5748502994 61% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1787.0 2260.96107784 79% => OK
No of words: 348.0 441.139720559 79% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.13505747126 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.31911543099 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.4646178329 2.78398813304 89% => OK
Unique words: 144.0 204.123752495 71% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.413793103448 0.468620217663 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 595.8 705.55239521 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 4.96107784431 0% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.4082938984 57.8364921388 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.6875 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.75 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.625 5.70786347227 169% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.177400773047 0.218282227539 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0783208577391 0.0743258471296 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0368596877556 0.0701772020484 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.128078264727 0.128457276422 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.00769535870382 0.0628817314937 12% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 14.3799401198 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.3550499002 86% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.53 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.4 8.32208582834 89% => OK
difficult_words: 60.0 98.500998004 61% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.