The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people ten to twenty-five years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
According to author, though the sales of Whirlwind video game company has declined for two years, the sales of video games will increase because the result of the survey of what characteristics video-game players prefer the most matches the features of video games made by Whirlwind. Since the company just promotes its games to ten to twenty-five years old people, the majority of video-game players, the author believes that the sales of Whirlwind video games will mount in next few months. However, the author’s argument may seem tenuous because of his/her unreasonable reasoning.
It seems unfairly that the author concludes the result that ten to twenty-five years old people to whom they introduced video games would like their vividly graphic games according to the survey that does not provide who the respondents are. It is possible that people who took the survey not in the interval of ten to twenty-five years old, so that it is not appropriate to say that people in this intervals like the same type of games as the respondents of the survey do.
The author implies that people who like playing vivid games have the latest tool that can run the game and allow them to play it. However, saying what type of games they like is one thing, having equipments to run that king of games which requires high level of cores is another.
Moreover, even though the majority of people who took the survey are ten to twenty-five years old and they do have high level equipments which can run their video games statically, the sales of the video games of Whirlwind might not increase. It is because most of these players are students, so that they are not financial independent from their family. If their parents do not allow them to purchase these games, there is no way that the sales can mount.
In conclusion, the evidences that are adduced by the author are not cogent enough and the interaction between what the author predicts and what the evidences stand is not unassailable. Thus, Whirlwind Company should better scrutinize details before taking the action.
- There is little justification for society to make extraordinary efforts—especially at a great cost in money and jobs—to save endangered animal or plant species.(Wrire a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the s 50
- It is primarily through our identification with social groups that we define ourselves. 50
- The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine. "Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey ask 82
- There is little justification for society to make extraordinary efforts—especially at a great cost in money and jobs—to save endangered animal or plant species.(Wrire a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the s 50
- It is primarily through our identification with social groups that we define ourselves.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing a 50
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 353 350
No. of Characters: 1684 1500
No. of Different Words: 152 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.335 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.771 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.429 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 108 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 74 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 51 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.417 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.729 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.412 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.681 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.178 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
however, if, may, moreover, so, thus, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 20.0 13.6137724551 147% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 28.8173652695 118% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 55.5748502994 79% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 16.3942115768 12% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1726.0 2260.96107784 76% => OK
No of words: 352.0 441.139720559 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.90340909091 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.33147354134 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52515751084 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 158.0 204.123752495 77% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.448863636364 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 529.2 705.55239521 75% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 19.7664670659 61% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 22.8473053892 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 65.8702428179 57.8364921388 114% => OK
Chars per sentence: 143.833333333 119.503703932 120% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.3333333333 23.324526521 126% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.25 5.70786347227 74% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.311779431471 0.218282227539 143% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.118199043758 0.0743258471296 159% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.115217678757 0.0701772020484 164% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.167348965612 0.128457276422 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.115731060999 0.0628817314937 184% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.3 14.3799401198 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.5 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.73 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.08 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 98.500998004 68% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.1389221557 122% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.