The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people ten to twenty-five years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
In the reading passage, the author asserts that the sales of Whirlwind video games would increase in the following months based on a survey's result and the company's marketing plan. However, the assumptions are unsubstiated and based on lack of evidence. Therefore the argument is implausible as it stands.
First, the agument assumes that the survey shows the sales trend that is advantageous to Whirlwind video games. However, the linkage betwwen this survey result and Whirlwind's future success is weak, as the survey only indicates the important components for a video game that people might prefer. Firstly, it does not show any clue that people are going to like Whirlwind's video games because whether whirlwind's video games will meet the criteria of the survey results or not is not clear. Even assuming that Whirlwind's video games have such component following the result of survey, it is still questionable if the survey results correctly reflects Whirlwind's potential customers' tastes. If the survey group and Whrlwind's potential customers are belong in different age group, the survey results cannot be applied to the expectation for future success of Whirlwind video games.
Furthermore, the author claims that Whirlwind's huge marketing campaign focusing on young age group of people will lead its dramatic success. Yet, this assumption seems awkward as the author does not state anything about the quality of the campaign. Even though the company would invenst thousands of money on advertising, if they do not have proper marketing strategy and efforts targeting to the age group, they would not be able to suceed. In addition, the product quality should be taken into consideration. No matter how much the company aggresively operate the advertising campaign, people would not buy their video games if the product quality is bad. The huge scale of advertising might increase people's awareness of the company's product, but it does not necessarily lead customer's actual buyings. The market study invetigating people's preference on Wirlwind's video games would rather be helpful in predicting the company's future success. The author implies that investing enormous amount of money on advertising would guarantee sales growth.
In conclusion, the argument of the passage is tenuous because it fails to provide enough supports for the potential success of Whirlwind video games. It primarily depends on the lack of evidence and incorrect implications on the possibility of sales increase in Whirwind video games.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: However, the assumptions are unsubstiated and based on lack of evidence.
Error: unsubstiated Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: First, the agument assumes that the survey shows the sales trend that is advantageous to Whirlwind video games.
Error: agument Suggestion: augment
Sentence: However, the linkage betwwen this survey result and Whirlwind's future success is weak, as the survey only indicates the important components for a video game that people might prefer.
Error: betwwen Suggestion: between
Sentence: Even though the company would invenst thousands of money on advertising, if they do not have proper marketing strategy and efforts targeting to the age group, they would not be able to suceed.
Error: invenst Suggestion: invest
Error: suceed Suggestion: succeed
Sentence: No matter how much the company aggresively operate the advertising campaign, people would not buy their video games if the product quality is bad.
Error: aggresively Suggestion: aggressively
Sentence: The market study invetigating people's preference on Wirlwind's video games would rather be helpful in predicting the company's future success.
Error: invetigating Suggestion: investigating
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flaws:
the arguments are not exactly right on the point. need to argue according to the topic, for example, in the topic:
According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers.
we may argue like:
maybe the most up-to-date computers are too expensive, and game players can't afford.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 396 350
No. of Characters: 2103 1500
No. of Different Words: 185 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.461 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.311 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.707 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 166 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 126 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 85 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.579 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.722 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.348 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.546 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.112 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 98, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... of Whirlwind video games would increase in the following months based on a surve...
^^
Line 1, column 256, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...bstiated and based on lack of evidence. Therefore the argument is implausible as it stand...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 746, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'belonged'.
Suggestion: belonged
...p and Whrlwinds potential customers are belong in different age group, the survey resu...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 947, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...predicting the companys future success. The author implies that investing enormous...
^^^
Line 3, column 957, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... the companys future success. The author implies that investing enormous amount o...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, still, therefore, in addition, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 55.5748502994 70% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2130.0 2260.96107784 94% => OK
No of words: 396.0 441.139720559 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.37878787879 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46091344257 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7057182284 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.477272727273 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 645.3 705.55239521 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.6231130942 57.8364921388 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.333333333 119.503703932 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.05555555556 5.70786347227 89% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.300964631684 0.218282227539 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.101282712044 0.0743258471296 136% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.087015771334 0.0701772020484 124% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.182048628482 0.128457276422 142% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0935260174119 0.0628817314937 149% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.9 14.3799401198 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.92 12.5979740519 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.64 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 98.500998004 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.