The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.
"On Balmer Island, where mopeds serve as a popular form of transportation, the population increases to 100,000 during the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by the island's moped rental companies from 50 per day to 25 per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the town council will attain the 50 percent annual reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year on the neighboring island of Seaville, when Seaville's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
Although the author’s concerns regarding the high number of the accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians is reasonable, the claim he makes to convince the town council for immediate action of imposing constraints in terms of reducing the number of mopeds rented by the island's moped rental companies fraught with ambiguities and nebulous assumptions.
In the first place, the author dose not clarify whether the accidents in the island are all due to the number of the mopeds which transport the people, or there are likely other determinants such as the lower safety of the roads, lack of sufficient awareness of transportation, inadequate road signs, or weak organization of using the mopeds for transporting the passengers. Thus, unless the responses to these assumptions are ruled out, positing that the town council ought to decrease the mopeds rented by the island's moped rental companies is a tenuous recommendation; likewise, this evidences do not strongly corroborate the author’s argument.
Secondly, the author contends that the number of the mopeds should be declined from 50 per day to 25 per day during the summer season. There is lack of support for this statistic; it is unclear that based on what assumptions the author has arrived this quantity. The writer may provide further proofs to make clarification whether the number of mopeds used in both islands are alike, both neighbors benefit from the same management policies, the number of tourists use this means of transportation are analogous, etc.
Last but not least, this interpretation that Balmer Island will attain a fifty percent accident rate merely referring to results emerged from the adjacent neighbor appear irrational as it is covert to audience that what statistics and methodology have been used to achieve this number. Hence, since there is no germane information about the neighboring island of Seaville, any comparison and reference to are unreasonable.
In conclusion, even though one of the possible reasons to reduce the accident rate involving mopeds and pedestrians might be the reduction of the number of hired mopeds by the relevant companies, but the writer’s argument does not produce a cogent case to persuade the town council to modify its current policy. Thus, it is expected that more precise and sound evidence are required to establish a concrete connection between the claims and enforcing
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Sentence: Thus, unless the responses to these assumptions are ruled out, positing that the town council ought to decrease the mopeds rented by the island's moped rental companies is a tenuous recommendation; likewise, this evidences do not strongly corroborate the author's argument.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and evidences
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 382 350
No. of Characters: 1984 1500
No. of Different Words: 216 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.421 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.194 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.805 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 161 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 112 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 87 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 38.2 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.365 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.9 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.402 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.711 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.069 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5