The following appeared in a letter to the editor in the journal Health Matters.
Statistics gathered over the past three decades show that the death rate is higher among those who do not have jobs than those with regular employment. Unemployment, just like heart diseases and cancer, is a significant health issue. While many health care advocates promote increased government funding for medical research and public health care, it would be folly to increase government spending if doing so were to affect the nation's economy adversely and ultimately cause a rise in unemployment. A healthy economy means healthy citizens.
Unemployment means having no regular or stable means of income. Being unemployed is stressful and depressing to say the least. That depression and feeling of unworthiness is not something that can be shaken easily by any individual. Such a kind of depression cannot be overcome and it leads to the person becoming isolated from all the others around him or her. This sense of isolation is just as serious a health issue as heart disease or cancer which ultimately leads to the death of a person. Loneliness, isolation and depression may compel people to take drastic measures.
The article mentioned in the topic states that statistics collected over the past three decades indicate that death rates are higher among those individuals who are not employed in comparison to those who have regular and stable employment opportunities. Unemployment can lead to the complete destruction of any person's personal as well as social life. Not having a fixed system of income can also lead to an individual ending his or her own life. Thus unemployment is a significant health hazard just like any heart disease or the various types of cancer.
Every country requires huge amounts of funds for medical research and public health care facilities. But any government should be pragmatic and sensible while providing these funds as they should not be allocated at the cost of the citizens' jobs in their country which would render them unemployed and therefore vulnerable to feelings of depression and unworthiness lead to their untimely deaths. Increasing government expenditure on medical research and public health care should not be done in a fatuous manner by any country as it would lead to detrimental effects on not just the country's economy but also on the citizens residing in that country because it would lead to an increase in the country's unemployment level.
Thus just as the letter to the editor that appeared in the journal Health Matters which states that statistics gathered in the last three decades have shown that unemployment is equally deleterious as other diseases that afflict the body and the mind of people. Unemployment comes as a slow and painful death where the person afflicted is usually in isolation and thoroughly depressed so when he or she takes the extreme decision of ending his or her life it is generally done with an unstable frame of mind. If a country wants to ensure a healthy economy it should foremost make sure that its citizens are healthy and happy.
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argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not OK
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flaws:
This is an argument essay not an issue essay. for example,
Statistics gathered over the past three decades show that the death rate is higher among those who do not have jobs than those with regular employment.
we may argue: is unemployment the only reason for the death rate? or there are a lot of other things affecting the death rate.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 415 350
No. of Characters: 2055 1500
No. of Different Words: 212 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.513 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.952 4.6
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No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 111 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 78 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.938 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.32 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.308 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.519 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.11 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5