The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a local newspaper from a citizen of the state of Impecunia.
"Two years ago our neighboring state, Lucria, began a state lottery to supplement tax revenues for education and public health. Today, Lucria spends more per pupil than we do, and Lucria's public health program treats far more people than our state's program does. If we were to establish a state lottery like the one in Lucria, the profits could be used to improve our educational system and public health program. The new lottery would doubtless be successful, because a survey conducted in our capital city concludes that citizens of Impecunia already spend an average of $50 per person per year on gambling."
The author of this argument claims that establishing a lottery can help in improving education and public health through tax revenues in the state of Impecunia. In order to substantiate this claim, the citizen refers to the experience of neighboring state Lucria in foundation of such a lottery. The letter also notes that a survey accomplished and published in the state of Impecunia proves the high interest of citizens of this state in gambling. The argument rests on a series on unconvincing assumptions, and is therefore unpersuasive as it stands.
First of all, the excerpt's author bases his claim partly on the fact that success of neighboring state in setting up a lottery and taking tax means success of the state of Impercunia. However, the author provides no evidence about wealth condition of two states. If Impercunia state's citizens are poor, people are not able to participate in lottery and spend their money in such places. Lack of such cogent evidence to evaluate the people's lifestyle, I cannot express my compliance to the demand of the citizen who has suggested.
In further support of his claim the letter states that a survey performed in the state of Impercunia discloses high interest and tendency of people living in this toward gambling(an average spending of $50 per person per year). However, since this amount can be skewed by few high amounts, it is not a reliable source to make decision that people like gambling. Besides, this survey has been completed in the capital city, we cannot reach a point that other small and big cities are inclined in gambling.
In addition, the excerpt's author is nearly sure that gabling can be successful in helping children and education. Nevertheless, one cannot forget the negative effects of such lottery. In fact, some people may lose their money there, and then are not able to more support their children. Besides, students may be motivated to spend much money in such a lottery, and distracted on spending om more critical issues. Presence of such risks and providing no information from author to dismiss them, the author cannot defend the importance of building a lottery and its positive effects for education and public health.
The author is of the opinion that paying taxes by the hope-to-be-established lottery can be beneficial. However, we have no information about tax rules in this state. Perhaps, this state totally have low tax law. Or perhaps, some businesses like lottery encounter low tax. Existence of such alternative explanations for not tax and paying it, It is really cumbersome to vote on the achievement of this suggestion.
In conclusion, the author's evidence lends little credible support to his claim. To persuade me that this suggestion will be successful, the author must bolster this letter by providing specific information about people's lifestyle and condition in the state of Impercunia. To better evaluate this argument, we need more information about the participants in the survey. We would also need some more document about tax rules in the state of Impercunia.
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argument 1 -- not OK
Two years ago our neighboring state, Lucria, began a state lottery to supplement tax revenues for education and public health. Today, Lucria spends more per pupil than we do, and Lucria's public health program treats far more people than our state's program does. //maybe there are other reasons, not lottery
argument 2 -- not OK
If we were to establish a state lottery like the one in Lucria, the profits could be used to improve our educational system and public health program. //It works for location A (a city, community, nation), but it doesn't mean it works for location B (another city, community, nation).
argument 3 -- not OK
The new lottery would doubtless be successful, because a survey conducted in our capital city concludes that citizens of Impecunia already spend an average of $50 per person per year on gambling. //maybe people choose other lottery not this one
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 506 350
No. of Characters: 2515 1500
No. of Different Words: 226 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.743 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.97 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.704 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 197 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 140 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 101 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 62 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.24 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.783 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.302 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.536 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.122 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5