The following appeared as a letter to the editor of a national newspaper.
The article entitled 'Eating Iron' in last month's issue of Eating for Health reported that a recent study found a correlation between high levels of iron in the diet and an increased risk of heart disease. Further, it is well established that there is a link between large amounts of red meat in the diet and heart disease, and red meat is high in iron. On the basis of the study and the well-established link between red meat and heart disease, we can conclude that the correlation between high iron levels and heart disease, then, is most probably a function of the correlation between red meat and heart disease.
In this editorial the author concludes that the correlation between high iron levels and heart disease is with high probability the result of the correlation between red meat and heart disease. To justify this conclusion the author points out that a recent study found a correlation between high levels of iron in the diet and an increased risk of heart disease. He also cites that there is a link between large amounts of red meat in the diet and heart disease, and red meat is high in iron. A careful scrutiny to this evidence reveals that it lends little credence to this argument for several respects.
First, the author unfairly assumes that the study’s results about correlation between the high levels of iron in the diet and an increased risk of heart disease are correct. There is no dear evidence that demonstrate the results of this study corroborate this correlation. Also there is no sufficient information to credit that these results extracted from study’s respondents can be substantially attributed to the whole nation. The respondents of this survey might have already had heart problems or other difficulties which lead to heart diseases and amount of iron consumption has not be the only effective element in this study. Without considering and ruling out these and other possibilities the author can not support this claim.
Second, even if this correlation between high levels of iron and heart disease is a correct claim for all the people, the author’s contention about a link between large amounts of red meat in the diet and heart disease is not reasonably supported. Assuming that red meat contains a considerable amount of iron absorbable to the body, there are other kinds of foods which hold a great amount of iron such as some herbal foods and it can not be easily concluded that the correlation between high levels of iron and heart disease is the result of a link between large amounts of red meat in the diet and heart disease. In other words the total amount of iron consumption, red meat and all other foods including iron all together, constructs the levels of iron in our diet. Without considering the amount of iron in other kinds of food and showing their very little amount of iron in comparison with red meat this claim is not well supported.
In sum, this argument fails to convince me that the correlation between high iron levels and heart disease is greatly the result of the correlation between red meat and heart disease. To bolster this conclusion the author must account for other possible reasons which might contribute to heart diseases and also provide clear evidence that the study’s respondents have been tested under fair condition having no other problems which may cause heart problems and just increased iron levels. To better assess the strength of this argument I need more information about other kinds of food including iron and also the degree of their absorbable iron level in comparing with red meat absorbable iron levels.
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 505 350
No. of Characters: 2458 1500
No. of Different Words: 177 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.74 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.867 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.527 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 162 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 122 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 31.562 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.624 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.451 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.606 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.194 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5