The following appeared in a letter to the editor of Parson City's local newspaper.
"In our region of Trillura, the majority of money spent on the schools that most students attend — the city-run public schools — comes from taxes that each city government collects. The region's cities differ, however, in the budgetary priority they give to public education. For example, both as a proportion of its overall tax revenues and in absolute terms, Parson City has recently spent almost twice as much per year as Blue City has for its public schools — even though both cities have about the same number of residents. Clearly, Parson City residents place a higher value on providing a good education in public schools than Blue City residents do."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The prompt supports the idea that Parson City residents prioritize good education to public schools compared to those of Blue City because of higher tax dissipation for the education sector from the former one. The logical reasoning provided in might be good, but there are some logical flaws with the premises underlie the arguemnt. The assumptions are provided followed by necessary clarifications.
To begin with - the author belives that providing sheer amount of tax or public fund for the education sector will make the education better. Although it seems to be a logical presumption, however, there are some loophole in that. If only providing money for the public schools is considered the only factor for the development of the education sector then it will be wrong idea to posses. Even it might not assure that the residents of the Parson City are actually putting higher values on the good education of public schools. What if the authority is syndicating for its own advanatges? For instance - the authorty who is in charge of the public schools have urged the residents to invest more in this sectpor fopr better profits? May be there is recent surge in the number of students of the public schools and the authority is thinking of making as much profits as it can by making the residents coveting for it - which might be a sole business purpose; obviously not from the perspectice of better education. In that case - the author might take into review his judgement.
Coming to second - only providing necessary or affluent fund for education sector will not conduice sufficent outcome - not clearly mentioned in the passage what the residents think abou this. If they are actually aware of this then they might not only increase their fund for the education of public schools but also will take proper steps so that their money can culminates. It is because there are various factors pertaining the improvement in the education field which are dependent on one another. For instance - there is necessary or even more than enough funding is already prepared for a public school. But what is the guarantee that the money is properly utilized for only the betterment of the students? In spite of having sufficient money a public school may lag behind if its teachers are not motivated enough to teach their hearts out. Apart from sufficcient patronization - if there is no rigid authority of the public schools then the money onvested by the resiedents may go into dogs and the vulnerablity will go on. So, if the residents are actually concerned abou the public school education sector then they might ensure these mentioned stuffs out of their own sincerety. Perhaps, they have done or perhaps migh not -regaridng which no necessary information is provided in the prompt.
Anotehr factor is - the author assunmed that only investing more amount of tax into the education sector is the deciding factor about "education concern" between the cities, then he needs to provide with more relavent information. What if the Blue City has already invested a lot of money and also have ensured their implications much before the Parson City and as a result they are in no need of further investment? What if the the number if public schools in the Blue City is much less compared to that Parson City and as a result the ration might not be different or even it might be turned out that the Blue City has higher investment ot school ratio than the Parson City? What if the authority of the Blue City laready has a plan and they are doing it in their own way to improve their public school education; far different than that of the Parson city?
So, looking at all the aforementioned topics and critical remarks - it can be safely said that much more information and clearity are required to come into a certain conclusion; not before answering the asked questions in the essay with proper clarifications and evidences. Deviating from this will result in a hasty conclusion; may not overtly considerable.
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| 2023-02-10 | Yam Kumar Oli | 67 | view |
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 11 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 28 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 678 350
No. of Characters: 3265 1500
No. of Different Words: 261 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.103 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.816 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.549 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 240 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 161 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 118 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 80 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.077 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.225 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.808 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.297 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.476 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.072 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 335, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ith the premises underlie the arguemnt. The assumptions are provided followed by ne...
^^^
Line 3, column 214, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'loopholes'?
Suggestion: loopholes
...al presumption, however, there are some loophole in that. If only providing money for th...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 855, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
... the authority is thinking of making as much profits as it can by making the residen...
^^^^
Line 5, column 366, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[2]
Message: The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: 'culminate'
Suggestion: culminate
...ke proper steps so that their money can culminates. It is because there are various factor...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1034, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[4]
Message: “So , if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...o dogs and the vulnerablity will go on. So, if the residents are actually concerned ab...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 436, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
... no need of further investment? What if the the number if public schools in the Blue Ci...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 436, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
... no need of further investment? What if the the number if public schools in the Blue Ci...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 688, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...t ot school ratio than the Parson City? What if the authority of the Blue City larea...
^^^^
Line 7, column 841, Rule ID: RATHER_THEN[2]
Message: Did you mean 'different 'from''? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
Suggestion: from
... public school education; far different than that of the Parson city? So, lookin...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, however, if, look, may, second, so, then, apart from, for instance, in conclusion, as a result, in spite of, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 35.0 19.6327345309 178% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 22.0 12.9520958084 170% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 28.8173652695 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 74.0 55.5748502994 133% => OK
Nominalization: 28.0 16.3942115768 171% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3343.0 2260.96107784 148% => OK
No of words: 678.0 441.139720559 154% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.93067846608 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.10278680062 4.56307096286 112% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67247425213 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 270.0 204.123752495 132% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.398230088496 0.468620217663 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1060.2 705.55239521 150% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.043373357 57.8364921388 107% => OK
Chars per sentence: 128.576923077 119.503703932 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.0769230769 23.324526521 112% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.5 5.70786347227 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.20758483034 183% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.22362535034 0.218282227539 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0689863732053 0.0743258471296 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0729268712304 0.0701772020484 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.139935116581 0.128457276422 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0766747635187 0.0628817314937 122% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.8 14.3799401198 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.3550499002 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.61 12.5979740519 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.12 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 137.0 98.500998004 139% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.